Oh, Michael, why? Skimpy halter tops are just so, you know, unflattering.
Also, your nips are showing.
Oh.
Medals.
I see.
But can I ask? Are you, like, not wearing pants? And are you, maybe – OH HOW TO ASK THIS? – um, waxed down there?
Because, you know, the bottom edge of that magazine cover is slung pretty low. And I, for one, see no treasure trail. So. Waxed and pantsless, are ye?
Nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with that at all. In fact: ALL GOOD. But you should still keep away from the halter tops, or halter-top-seeming arrangement of medal ribbons. Because halter tops + waxed nethers – pants = Paris Hilton, or something like her, and that’s just not, you know, distinguished. As befits the Olympic champion and all-around hottie that you are.
Anyway. As you were.
