duuuude, Barbie hair on 45-year old dudes is fuckin’ AWESOME!!!!
So, because I just CAN NOT SHUT UP about Bret Michaels and his general nastiness, I thought today we could zero in on one of his more superficial areas of nastiness: his hair.
Jezebel had an interesting Bret Michaels hair retrospective yesterday which indicated that, in an interview last April, Bret admitted that his hair-don’t is "combined of [his] hair and the finest extensions Europe has to
offer." While you may not have heard this admission, you may have heard me high-five Miss Banshee from across the country as we simultaneously shrieked, "HA! I KNEW IT!!"
Ladies and germs, please feast your eyes on the FINEST EXTENSIONS IN ALL OF EUROPE:
I’m sorry, do you need me to hold you now? It’s gonna be okay. The bad man is gone now… for now.
As for the ubiquitous bandanna,
Bert Bret insists that he goes around without it all the time, but that they won’t film him like that because the bandanna is his signature. I’m sure it has nothing to do with the fact that this is what his hair looks like without the bandanna:
Damn, girl! Even the FINEST EXTENSIONS EUROPE HAS TO OFFER might need a deep conditioning every now and then. Now let’s talk about your shirt. Specifically, let’s please question why it exists in its current shirt form and why, since it already looks like it’s on fire, you don’t make it be for reals on fire somewhere I can’t see it, instead of wearing it in front of me, God and everybody, where it can hurt our eyes and inner children?
Next week, we will examine Bret Michaels’ increased use of eyeliner over the last three years. Could it be that, while looking for love on VH1, Bret is secretly involved with this hot ticket?