As long as there are people with bad ideas and it is legal to outfit other people with bad ideas with tattoo guns, we will have bad tattoos, and, man, are there some bad tattoos out there. Even Hayden Panettiere's got one. I feel for her, though, because I, too, had a brain fart in my youth, and now I've got my own slightly embarrassing butt tattoo. Here, let me show you it…
I apologize for the poor quality of this photograph, but it is difficult to get a decent shot of one's own butt with an iPhone:
When I chose this tattoo back inn 1993, I honestly didn't know that this was a pervasive Christian symbol and thought that it had to do with the marriage of male and female energies. What makes this even funnier? I AM AN ATHEIST. So, unless I shell out for tattoo removal, I'm going to be an atheist with a Christian bumper sticker on her butt until the end of time. I ARE SMRT.
Without further ado, I give you:
10 Terrible, No Good, Very Bad Tattoos
Let me start with misspelled tattoos, because those are most awesome.
This one might not be intentionally misspelled, but it still looks like she's asking everyone who sees her in bare feet to "Be Miners Valentineres":
And then we have "Your Mine", which is less about love and more about both this guy and his tattoo artist needing to improve their literacy skills. Your mine is shut down for parts.
I really feel for this woman. If she ever goes back to finish high school, having to read "Beautiful Tradgedy" every morning is really going to bug her.
This one isn't misspelled now, but it is going to become downright nonsensical in a few decades when it reads "THIS AM GUCKE SS":
Moving on, we have, of course, Mr. Tattoo Face, who looks as though he'd like to sell you a nice piece of real estate, or perhaps a used car:
"Hey, Joe. Remember that time you fell asleep, and we… hey! Joe! Are you even listening to me?"
It's Hello Kitty that really holds the whole thing together:
"You know those plastic chairs that you can buy at Wal-Mart? They really speak to me, you know?"
"You know what else I remember? That time Janie ate peanuts, and her head swelled up like a fat kid's. Yeah, that was awesome."
I am leaving you with this one because I am one sadistic pop culture writer who wants to give you nightmares.
So, kids, please consider your tattoos for a good, long, sober time and consult a dictionary if need be. And, if you're an atheist like myself, check a list of religious symbols and maybe the backs of cars in church parking lots to make sure that you're not inking this for all eternity onto your left butt cheek:
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