Four Classic Films That Are Better Than Most Summer Blockbusters

I don’t know about you, but sometimes I accidentally flip to TCM when old movies are on and it’s all “blah, blah, blah, forced-dialogue-weird-accent-this-would-never-happen-with-the-internet” nonsense. BORING. There aren’t even any vampires or explosions or boobs. Who watches this? Is this The Grandma Channel? Because my grandma watches Maury and Wheel of Fortune and told me last year that her favorite movie is Wild Hogs, so I’m not quite sure who the target demographic is for TCM. ANYWAY, I’ll admit that I’m totally prejudiced against black and white movies, but I’ve encountered a few that are downright thrilling, stand the test of time, and are worth repeated viewings. I know, I’m a regular Leonard Maltin.

• Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? (1962) is a first-rate study in how to portray a creepy psychopath. Bette Davis plays Baby Jane Hudson, an aging has-been who can’t let go of her former fame as a child film star. Joan Crawford plays her wheelchair-bound sister Blanche, whose fame as an adult actress had long surpassed Jane’s when she was paralyzed in a mysterious accident that left her in a wheelchair. Jane holds Blanche hostage, Blanche tries to escape, and a psychological thriller ensues.  Davis spends much of the movie dressed up like a Miss Havisham/Shirley Temple mash-up (creepy) while torturing her sister by doing loving things like serving her a dead rat on a silver platter (OMG WTF crazy). I love cuckoo behavior that stands the test of time. It’s so much classier than regular cuckoo behavior. Davis and Crawford notoriously hated each other during filming (meow!), and their seething resentment of each other obviously fuels their screen time together.



• Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? (1966), based on the Edward Albee play, set the gold standard in uncomfortable dinner parties. Remember the “Dinner Party” episode of The Office, where Michael and Jan get progressively more and more transparent about their dysfunctional relationship with every glass of iced wine? Yeah, they got that from Virginia Woolf, but more happens in this movie than a Dundie being thrown through a flat-screen. Richard Burton plays George, a college history professor, and Elizabeth Taylor is his wife, Martha, who play host to young instructor Nick (George Segal) and wife Honey (Sandy Dennis). I’ll let you watch the fun unfold, but I will tell you it involves such party games as Humiliate the Host, Hump the Hostess, and Get the Guests. I suck at those games, but seeing this movie is a friendly reminder that no matter how awkward a party is, it probably isn’t as dysfunctional as this one.




• The Bad Seed (1956) is every parent’s dream! If that dream is  your daughter is a sociopath! Who kills another kid because he beat her in a penmanship contest! Patty McCormack plays Rhoda, seemingly every parent’s perfect child. Her mother Christine, (Nancy Kelly) becomes slightly concerned about Rhoda when she is unaffected by the death of a classmate at a school picnic, leading Christine to investigate the incident. Trust me, Rhoda isn’t just a typical street thug unfazed by mur-dah. The Bad Seed was thematically groundbreaking at the time, and audiences were encouraged to keep the details of the movie, particularly the ending, to themselves after seeing the film so others would be surprised. I just love the idea of Cold War-era parents leaving a theatre questioning whether or not their own child might be a sociopath. It fills me with glee.

• The Children’s Hour (1961), based on the play by Lillian Hellman, stars young Audrey Hepburn and Shirley MacLaine as friends who open a small school for girls. When a bratty pupil is disciplined for theft, she falsely and maliciously tells her wealthy grandmother that the two headmistresses are in a lesbian relationship. Gasp!  Scandal ensues. Hellman’s play was originally adapted for the Hays Code (which would never allow a lesbian affair to be discussed onscreen) as These Three, with the lesbian scandal turned into your average “morally acceptable” hetero affair *snort*. After the end of the Hays Code, this version was made, which stayed faithful to Hellman’s original work.

MamaPop, what black and white films do you love that I am too much of a buffoon to appreciate?
. . . . .

KBestOliver thought that Inception was just okay.