It’s easy to dismiss the women of the various Real Housewives franchises as manufactured fluff designed to appeal to Americans base need for shiny, gratuitous things with giant boobies. I do it all the time, but I can’t stop watching. Luckily, the breakout star of the Housewives franchises is New York’s Bethenny Frankel, whose sardonic wit and refreshing candor earned her a spinoff show, Bethenny Getting Married?, and in last night’s episode, Bethenny did indeed get married to Jason Hoppy. And I cried like Baby Bryn.
Yeah, so what? I got a little choked up. You think my heart’s made of tin? Despite the red carpet, and the paparazzi, and a too-long cameo from Crazy Ramona, and the swanky-ass Manhattan wedding locale, there were minutes of down-to-earth honesty that rang true to me. For example, Bethenny peed in an ice bucket, and she did it while being filmed, in her wedding dress, while her Buster Bluth-like wedding planner held up her dress and her maid of honor pulled down her panties, in the Four Seasons. Um, can we get this chick to Sparklecorn? I mean, it is in Manhattan. She sounds like she’ll fit in just fine.
What was really touching about watching Bethenny’s wedding was seeing the unadulterated adoration for each other that she and Jason clearly displayed. This wasn’t some fabricated romance on The Hills or a Big Brother showmance or *snort* The Bachelor. These are clearly two people who are nuts about each other and, more importantly, are nuts about each other’s imperfections. I’m a sucker for couples who write their own vows, and hearing Bethenny, normally glib, pouring her heart out to Jason reminded me of my own wedding. Despite her glam life, she remains relatable. When Bethenny cried during her vows that that very moment was the best moment of her whole life, right then and there, I gave up and sniffled like I was watching Marley and Me (which, by the way, fuck that movie, because I accidentally watched, like, 20 minutes of it, but ****SPOILER ALERT**** it was the 20 minutes where Marley died and the little boy said Marley was the “best brother ever” and I DONE LOST IT). Bethenny and Jason are straight ride or die, much like me and my husband or Beyonce and Jay-Z, and I can relate to that. I can also relate to when Jason’s friends starting swimming, fully clothed, in the not-for-swimming pool at the Four Seasons. At my wedding reception, my best friend from high school called the bartender a c*** and got the bar shut down, then another guest drunkenly fell down the stairs and her boob fell out. Like me, Bethenny was like, “Eh, I peed in a bucket. Who am I to judge?” KEEPIN’ IT REAL.
I’m a big enough person to admit that I’m okay with celebrating the genuine happiness of a reality star instead of basking in the schadenfreude that is usually elicited from my television-watching habits. And darn it if the Hoppy Family doesn’t at least, from what we’ve seen, look pretty damn happy. So good on Bethenny, Jason, and Bryn. I hope those crazy kids make it.
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Kelli , like Bethenny, did not miss the presence of Kelly Bensimon at her wedding. At all.
