Never let it be said that Dr. Laura, aka Laura Schlessinger, doesn’t cozy up to controversy on her radio show. Normally she’s unafraid and refuses to back down from her points, however ludicrous they may be. But it looks like spouting the n-word off on the radio was a step too far.
It all started centuries ago when a bunch of dumb greedy white people wanted to live like the British and European aristocrats they claimed to despise but didn’t feel like paying wages on Tuesday, when a black woman called to talk about her white husband’s racist friends and family and their propensity for making racist comments in front of her. Schlessinger didn’t seem to think it was a big deal:
Black guys use it all the time. Turn on HBO and listen to a black comic, and all you hear is nigger, nigger, nigger. I don’t get it. If anybody without enough melanin says it, it’s a horrible thing. But when black people say it, it’s affectionate. It’s very confusing.
Yes. How confusing it must be for Laura Schlessinger, who seems to have confused Chris Rock’s stand-up performance with actual discourse (hint: comedians say naughty words and that’s part of the reason that people watch them). Schlessinger also thought that the whole thing was “hilarious” because “we’ve got a black man as president and we’ve got more complaining about racism then ever”. Of course: the problem isn’t racism! It’s all that complaining about racism! If only people would quit complaining, then they’d see this racism thing doesn’t exist anymore.
When the caller confessed that she was pretty appalled by Schlessinger’s comments, which so neatly encapsulate the willed ignorance about race relations in America today, Schlessinger said: “Why don’t you let me finish a sentence? Don’t take things out of context. Don’t NAACP me, leave them in context”. In other words: Don’t talk until I say you can, nigger. You don’t understand.
Here’s the audio for your entertainment, if you find nausea entertaining:
And then it just goes off the rails, because racist people do not like being called out on their obvious racism:
The next day, of course, Schlesinger issued the most self-serving bullshit apology I’ve ever heard. I quote in full because I can hear Schlesinger preening her feathers as she imitates the sounds of contrition:
These are my opening comments from my radio program today:
I talk every day about doing the right thing. And yesterday, I did the wrong thing.
I didn’t intend to hurt people, but I did. And that makes it the wrong thing to have done.
I was attempting to make a philosophical point, and I articulated the “n” word all the way out – more than one time. And that was wrong. I’ll say it again – that was wrong.
I ended up, I’m sure, with many of you losing the point I was trying to make, because you were shocked by the fact that I said the word. I, myself, realized I had made a horrible mistake, and was so upset I could not finish the show. I pulled myself off the air at the end of the hour. I had to finish the hour, because 20 minutes of dead air doesn’t work. I am very sorry. And it just won’t happen again.
I received some letters, and what touched me is that, even though many of you were upset, you still showed friendship for all the years we’ve been together on the air, and for that, trust me, I am very grateful. Here’s an example:
I’d like to thank this woman for sending me this letter. I was so very touched, and truthfully, it helped me make it through the night. So I’m going to read this letter:
Dear Dr. Laura:
I have been a listener for at least 20 years. I have bought and read several of your books. I have always held you in high regard, and have encouraged others to listen to you as well. I have to say, after today’s call with the African-American woman with the Caucasian husband who called seeking how to handle “racist” comments, I am a bit dismayed. I believe that African-Americans using the n-word is disdainful, as well as Caucasians or any other race for that matter. I agree that the argument some African-Americans use that it is ok for them to use it and not others, is ridiculous. But, I have to say, when I heard you saying the word repeatedly, it struck a negative chord with me.
I don’t believe you are a racist, and I don’t believe, as an African-American woman, that I am hypersensitive. I have to say after the call, I found it difficult to continue to listen to the rest of the show. I have not made the decision to stop listening to your show, but I felt compelled to respond because I found it offensive.
Sincerely {and she gives her name}
One last note -
The caller in question (her name is Jade), called for help from me, and didn’t get it, because we got embroiled in the “n” word, and I’m really sorry about that, because I’m here for only one reason and that’s to be helpful, so I hope Jade or somebody who knows her is listening, and hope she will call me back and I will try my best to be helpful, which is what she wanted from me in the first place and what she did not get.
Her apology – how to put this? - misses the mark. What a crapload of self-serving excuses, self-congratulation and covert blame for the woman she insulted. She didn’t do the wrong thing by saying ‘nigger’ over and over again, even if it was filthy and repugnant to hear her spit it out. She didn’t even do the wrong thing by pointing out that black people use the word. She did the wrong thing when she ceased to think about (or feigned ignorance of) why African Americans have adopted the word and taken control of a hateful, brutality-laden term. She didn’t think about what it’s like to live in a country where, if you’re black, there’s a good chance that your family has lived with the indignity of being reduced to the status of animals for the pleasure and convenience of white people. She did the wrong thing when she decided that her caller, a member of her audience, was getting uppity. We all know there’s a handy word that white people use for uppity black people. Laura Schlesinger used it.
UPDATE: The second embedded audio clip was originally the same as the first (thanks to Stephanie for pointing it out in the comments). All fixed now.
The Palinode is a cracker.
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