You Don’t Want Justin Bieber to Post Your Phone Number on Twitter

Detroit teen genius Kevin Kristopik — who decided it would be productive to harass Justin Bieber and threaten a local radio station for tickets to the star’s show  — is now crying for two reasons.

One, Biebs posted Kevin Kristopik’s phone number on Twitter, after the kid got Bieber’s number from a “friend” and idiotically texted him repeatedly. He then wouldn’t knock it off when he was told, of course. Kevin’s phone was flooded with more than 26,000 text messages, probably 1,000 of those  from the same girls who ran after Bieber in the Great Segway Chase of 2010.

That should get old, but it doesn’t.

Two, right. Well, Kevin had to shut off his phone, and now his dad is freaking out about the possible bill. “How much will it be?” Mr. Kristopik wonders. $2,000? $10,000?

I think Kevin is probably crying for other reasons, and that feels like way more than two right there, but I get carried away about such things. I know I would be crying too, because my dad would have made sure that I was the only one wondering about that possible cost, and factoring in just how much of my teenaged play time I’d be cashing in to work to pay if off.

Speaking of which, don’t kids get summer jobs anymore? What are they not doing that they have time to sit around and hack for Justin Bieber’s telephone number?

Don’t answer that.

Justin took down the kid’s number shortly after he posted it pretending it was his, but with 4.5 million followers on the Twitter, he only needed five minutes, tops, to wreak havoc. And now, I just need a little more information. I need to know if dim Master K texted Justin five times or 50, maybe even 500? Like the seminal Tootsie Roll Pop question, how many texts does it take to get to Justin Bieber’s angry, vengeful, shaggily-coiffed center?

“I kind of meddled into his life a little bit. He decided to take revenge on me,” Kevin said.

Indeed.

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Laurie tried to write about someone else today and failed.