Well. This figures.
After spending hours and hours of my life recapping two of the very worst seasons of my one-time favorite show, I called it quits. I was done — especially once I heard the news that Lifetime was adding an extra half hour onto Project Runway’s running time, because bitch, you ain’t been able to cobble together a compelling hour of teevee in years, so what the hell are you thinking you’re gonna do with 90 damn minutes?
I was wrong. I am loving this season beyond all reason, you guys.
Perhaps part of it IS because I’m not recapping, because I’m not watching and already wondering how the HELL I’m going to justify the judges’ latest cracktastic decision or figure out which design I actually kind of like amongst a sea of cracktastic crap. Perhaps, because that stuff is definitely still happening, but it’s not bothering me quite so much. A few reasons why:
1) Gretchen.
Oh my God, how deliciously awful is she? On the one hand, I actually really do like her aesthetic quite a bit. She really is very talented. Several times she’s skated through the middle with stuff I totally pegged for Top Three. And yet…I also thought she deserved to go home for leading (and botching) the group challenge so badly — more so than poor out-of-his-element AJ with his shirtdress of sadness. The producers clearly saved her, and for once, I’m so glad they interfered, because she is easily the best villain we’ve seen in years. Because she’s the BEST KIND OF VILLAIN — the reality show contestant who comes on assuming she’s awesome and likable and always right and will be viewed by the public as such…and is completely unaware of just how insufferable she’s actually coming across. As her frustration level mounts each week as her work gets ignored, her willingness to trash-talk goes up and her ability to keep cool on the runway fades.
The result: Epic meltdowns, hissy fits, Tim-Gunn smackdowns and SO MUCH AWESOME.
2) Ivy.
Possibly even MORE awful than Gretchen, because despite the ENDLESS amount of time she spends dissing the other designers’ work, she has yet to send a SINGLE memorable garment down the runway. If Gretchen is the Regina George, Ivy is…well, the Gretchen. Still trying to make fetch happen and still believing that the boring, under-designed stuff she sends out week after week really makes her better than Michael C., upon whom she has fixated to an almost unbalanced degree. I don’t believe for a second that he was encouraging people at that dress show NOT to vote for her (all thanks to that extra 30 minutes — if that happened, it happened on camera, and the producers would have shown it, and he wouldn’t have gone out of his way to confront HER about the rumor). I also don’t believe for a second that she’s the competitive threat she thinks she is so I am happy to settle in and watch the ride, knowing she’ll get auf’d soon but be hella entertaining in the meantime.
I mean, seriously. She got dehydrated and dramatically passed out in the Atlas hallway. This is not Survivor, you silly twit.
3) Casanova.
While his first couple designs were thoroughly awful, he completely won me over during the team challenge when Girlfriend literally COLLAPSED UPON A FAINTING COUCH and proceeded to wail about making clothes for “old ladies, sluts and flamenco dancers” before finishing up his rant with “I’M EVEN GETTING FAT!”
My husband and I have a theory that Casanova actually only exists as performance art. That he actually speaks perfect English and has basically gone on this show in a quest to create the absolute most-perfect reality show contestant in the history of the world.
So far: TOTALLY WORKING.
4) Michael C.
Why does everyone hate him so much? What is going on that we’re not seeing? They have like, watched the show before and realize that our fair, cracktastic judges do indeed have a tendency to award a win to…ahem…slightly questionable designs, right? If Michael really is such a bad designer, just put your head down, focus on your own shit, and wait for him to screw up on his own. Because he seems like he totally will, even if the judges have awarded him just as many wins as Gretchen, haaaaaaaawesome. It’s like there’s some kind of tagline or catchphrase I’m trying to think of to describe how meaningless multiple wins can end up being on this show…something about one day being in and the next day out. Hmm. Will have to think some more about that and get back you.
I’m also dying to see what happens if/once Michael is eliminated. Will the group collectively sigh with relief and universally produce amazing garments…or will Gretchen and Ivy simply pick a new scapegoat for their disdain and turn everyone against him or her?
5) Great challenges.
Five episodes down and not one straightforward “make a pretty dress” challenge in the bunch. One of my (many) complaints about the recent seasons was that the challenges did not universally push everyone out of their comfort zone, so certain designers were able to skate through without every changing things up and sending really repetitive looks out every week. This season every challenge has some crazy twist or restriction or something to really stretch the designers’ abilities. And when you push just about everybody out of their comfort zones over and over again, you get them to act all crazy. See above. Delicious!
All this said: The judging has been crazy. Just…inexplicably crazy. I have disagreed with just about every win — either there was a stronger look in the Top Three or even something in the overlooked middle that should have rightly won. The auf-ings haven’t been quite so bad, though I’ve definitely disagreed with some of the Bottom Three picks. (And Gretchen or Ivy should have gone home for the team challenge but again, I’m secretly glad they didn’t). I’m not entirely sure there’s really a whole lot of AMAZING FANTASTIC fashion being produced this season, but when you’ve got as many entertaining characters flailing about in such a…well, entertaining fashion it turns out I don’t mind that as much as I thought I would.
Keep it up, little show! Make it work! Make it work LIKE CRAZY.
About amalah
