Big Brother 12 Recap: Week 8 – The Week of the Penguin

Ok, we’re through eight weeks of this and we’ve got two to go.  We can DO this people.  This week Big Brother doled out a whole feast of punishments – Enzo and his penguin costume, the complete lack of utensils, the retro boogie dance party, creepy puppet day.  Not to mention we had to look at Rachel’s face.

Here goes nothing…

Sunday

I’m getting so confused with The Brigade’s use of “grenade” because I watch Jersey Shore and “grenade” has a whole other meaning on that show.  Big Brother grenade = a surprise, often negative.  Jersey Shore grenade = an ugly girl, size large.

Anyway…

Hayden actually did want Ragan out, but when he won the veto, plans had to quickly change, and so Brendon had to leave. 

Ragan’s feelings toward Brendon have evolved from pure hatred to respect, given his fight to survive week after week.

The Brigade is hoping Enzo wins HOH because Lane is in a position where he’d have to choose between Britney or a Brigade member to put up against Ragan.

HOH Competition – players are playing blackjack, but they have to launch a ball onto a giant board with cards laid out and match the pair of cards Hayden holds up.

“The more I stay in this house, the more embarrassing it gets.” – Enzo

Lane wins.  He’s less than ecstatic because he has a tough decision to make.  One that will crush someone.

As the HOH room is revealed, the house learns that Lane “works” for his family’s oil business.  By “work”, he means he schmoozes people on golf courses.  He owns his own home at age 24.  His father has airplaneS.  He doesn’t need the money, is what it all boils down to.

Enzo is going crazy.  He’s been in here too long.  Dressed as a penguin, he’s using the weight bench as a spaceship and he’s lost his marbles.

Pandora’s Box.  A money tree!  Over $10,000 is hanging from the branches of a tree in the box.  Lane opens the box.  He has to choose three envelopes which MAY equal $10,000.  Every envelope he chooses, something bad happens to the house.  $79, $12, and $0.17.  $91.17 is what he wins and the house gets three punishments.

Punishment #1 – one week without silverware or glassware.  No problemo, BB.  They’ll just use ladles for spoons and bowls for cups.  Psh. 

Lane and Britney discuss the pawn.  Lane considers putting up Britney, but won’t consider putting up Hayden, which makes Britney realize where his loyalties lay. 

Lane takes the conversation to Enzo and Hayden and THEY start to question his loyalties because it shouldn’t be a matter of having a pawn.  It should be Ragan and Britney, without thought of which one might go home.

Hayden’s hair is getting out of hand.  It’s getting less “Beiber” and more “Monkey”, as in “hey, hey, we’re the…”

I can not believe Enzo is still in that stupid penguin suit.

Nomination ceremony and Britney is safe, first off.  Enzo is the pawn.  He.  Is.  Pissed.  Oh, this week is NOT going to be fun for Lane.

Wednesday

Enzo can finally take the penguin costume off, so they have a Shunning Ceremony.  Speeches are spoken, cheers are chanted, and the costume is evicted. 

Wait, where’s teh dramaz?  Why isn’t Enzo angry anymore?  This is crap. 

Ragan studies hard.  He memorizes everyone’s facial features, in case Veto is a face mashup.  He studies the order of events that have occurred in the house.  He lifts weights in case it’s a strength competition.

Veto Competition – Some annoying singing clam, which sounds kind of dirty, and it is, but in the giant disgusting mud puddle sort of way.  Otev.  Just like Otev the Mayan God or whatever from a season or two ago.  Stop recycling ideas, Big Brother.  People like me remember these things.  Anyway, THIS time, answering a quizzical song, they have to find cd’s in the mud puddles labelled with a name created from two former houseguests’ names.

“I don’t normally go slipping and sliding on K-Y jelly, believe it or not.” – Britney

“This is such a suckfest.  I’m not happy.” – Britney

Enzo and Ragan literally battle each other to get the last cd.  Tooth and nail.  Enzo wins by smashing Ragan to the ground and leaving him face down in the mud.  Ragan chucks his cd at the clam and it ricochets and hits Enzo in the head.  But, meh.  Enzo doesn’t care.  He just won Veto.

Ragan is heartbroken that his game is over.  With The Brigade alliance and Lane and Britney, there is no equation in which Ragan gets to stay in the house.

Everyone is talking about how whoever goes up as the pawn, they’re 100% safe.  But Hayden and Enzo talk to each other about possibly backdooring Britney without Lane’s knowledge.

Pandora’s punishment #2.  For 12 hours, the whole house has to use sock puppets when they talk.  If anyone fails to use a sock puppet when they speak, the house is Have Nots for the week.  I can’t make this stuff up.

“I think mine has sex eyes.” – Britney

Ragan has a real heart to heart with his sock puppet about not wanting to go home.  It would be sweet and sad if he weren’t talking to a sock.

Enzo drops an eff bomb and they blur his mouth…and his sock puppet’s…when they’re talking about golf.  He doesn’t get golf.  Don’t worry, Enz.  I don’t get it either.

Pandora’s punishment #3.  For the next 12 hours, every time they hear music, they have to dance.  Lane is a horrible dancer.  Enzo can rock a dance floor, fist pumping, Jersey-style.  Hayden tries the fist pump, but the rest of his body doesn’t know what it’s doing.  It’s like his two halves don’t communicate with each other.  This goes on all through the night.

Lane’s beginning to realize that Hayden and Enzo might get rid of Britney if he puts her up.  He even begins to consider that Britney might be a smarter choice to take to the final two, if he is given the chance.

Veto Ceremony – Enzo takes himself off (der…).  Lane replaces him with Hayden.  Smart move.  No back door maneuvers now. 

Thursday

Julie is looking quite saucy tonight with blood red lips, a peep-shoulder dress, and tousled hair.  She looks like a call girl from the 80’s.  In a good way.  Well played, Ms. Chen. Well played indeed.

Ragan is eating cereal with a ladle because they’re not allowed utensils.  He looks awkward and so very, very small.

The Brigade discusses the future.  They feel they have to get Britney out because she’ll win, but Lane is the only one who knows or is willing to admit that Britney actually has more enemies in the jury house and would be easier to actually beat.

Ragan approaches Britney to vie for her vote, pointing out that Rachel and Brendon would never vote for Ragan to win the money.  He also guarantees her that he would take her to the final two.  Hayden will not.

He approaches Lane (as it is ultimately his decision, if the vote is split).  His argument is that Enzo and Hayden would win the money over Lane.  He says that if he was part of the jury, he’s not sure if he’d be able to vote for Lane to win because he hasn’t done anything big in the house.  If he takes this week to take down Hayden, that’s a power move.  As a friend?  Keep Hayden.  As a player?  Keep Ragan.

At the jury house, we see Rachel all alone.  She fully expects Matt to come next, but it was Kathy.  Remember that?  That was a long time ago.  Then, a week later, the two of them are waiting for the next evicted house guest.  In walks Matt.  The reason why the two women were evicted. 

The three of them watch footage from the house. 

“He looks like a penis.” – Matt, about bald Brendon.

“Don’t mess with my man!” – Rachel.  Le sigh.

And finally…Brendon walks in.  So begins Big Brother Jury House: Bow Chicka Wow Wow Edition.

Matt confesses to the jury house that his wife doesn’t have a disease.  This does NOT go over well.  Oh, my.  Kathy had CANCER, dude.  Poor taste, Gremlin.  And he only regrets the lie because it didn’t pay off for him.  I’m pretty sure Matt just secured himself as one of the most hated people to ever play the game.

Aw, they vote to evict Ragan.  He wasn’t my very favourite in the house, but I did enjoy him.  And if someone can tell me what his forearm tattoo says, you get 10 bonus points in the imaginary game no one is playing.

Ragan is incredibly mature in his outgoing interview with Julie, saying that the people in the house evicted him because they were loyal to each other.  That a lot of the qualities in the people in the final four are qualities in people in the real world that he’s drawn to as friends.

Have you ever noticed how different the exit videos at the end of the game are from the the exit videos at the beginning of the game?  You know, one last push for a vote.  Whereas at the beginning of the season, people use the videos as one last chance to tell the evictee how much they hated their guts.

HOH Competition – It’s Christmas!  Big Brother Christmas, to be exact.  Guests must manuever ornaments up a fence made from chicken wire and over the top.  The first to decorate their tree completely, wins.  Also, they’re automatically in the final three.

And so we begin.  Sigh.  This is going to take FO-EVAH. 

***

And that’s it!  Two people were nominated, some stuff happened, somebody got evicted.  The end!

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