I would like to start off with a disclaimer: I did not actually INTEND to watch Blue Bloods, which is a cop show, on CBS, that airs on Friday nights. The trifecta of Not Cool. A procedural drama to go with your side of prunes and lack of social life. I’d never even heard of it, actually, SWEARTOGAWD.
But our TiVo offered up a handy one-click season pass to all the new Fall shows, so we went with that, and as a result have watched a frightening amount of television recently. I swear to God, one night we watched The Event, Undercovers and Hawaii Five-O back-to-back-to-back, growing increasingly irritated when each show failed to really grab us in any real way. And that’s when my husband noticed this other show called Blue Bloods, which stars Tom Selleck, Donnie Wahlberg and Tom Brady’s Baby Mama whose name I always misspell on the first seven tries.
Not gonna lie: It had me at Tom Selleck. Magnum Fucking P.I., Motherfuckers! The object of my very first schoolgirl crush, if you count “preschool” as “school.” My older sister and I would take turns officiating weddings between the other and whichever poster on her wall we were currently obsessed with. I think she was going through a David Bowie phase at the time but my commitment never wavered: I kissed that poster of Magnum so many times I wore it down to the drywall.
Years later, during NKOTB mania, I was more of a Joey fan, but Donnie was always the close bad-boy second. So already you can see that the casting of Blue Bloods appeals to me on a very deep, very embarrassing level.
Blah blah blah: Is the show actually any good? Well, yeah! Surprisingly good! The acting is excellent, the whole three-generations-of-law-enforcement angle is different, there’s a nice balance of humor to go with everybody’s angst-driven plot points. It’s predictably melodramatic at times, what with a plotline surrounding a kidnapped girl who is IN PERIL and GOING TO DIE OF TEH DIABEETUS if Donnie Wahlberg couldn’t find her in time before the KILLER DIABEETUS but then he waterboarded the kidnapper in his own toilet and that was kind of awesome. OH SNAP, you just served by a chronically-constipated-looking New Kid, asshole.
I’m also happy to report that Magnum’s mustache has aged very well.
It’s like he’s thinking: Inappropriate? A little. But I don’t blame you. At all. Blue Bloods. Fridays. CBS. 10/9c. You know it.
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About Amy Corbett Storch
