You Can’t Say That on Google!

09/30/2010 2:00 pm by Sarah Braesch

So you know how Google has that new feature where it autofills as you type your search and tries to beat you to the punch?

Right. Pretty cool – especially if you need a your mom map – which I don’t, but it is nice to know that one is available.

Here is the thing, Google Instant won’t just do this for anything. There are forbidden words for which you must actually hit enter like the luddite pervert that you are.

See?

That was fun! Do you want to know what else Google refuses to recognize? Of course you do!

You have come to the right place, friends. Here is an incomplete list of words and phrases that Google Instant deems inappropriate:

asshole
arsehole
anus
ball kicking
ball licking
ball sucking
ball sack
ball gravy
barely legal
beaver lips
barenaked ladies
bisexual
boob
cornhole
doggy style
donkey punch
eat my ass
femdom
fisting
gay dog
gringo
hairy
heroin
how to kill
interracial
Jenna Jameson
juggs
latina
Lolita
naked
New Pornographers
nipples
nude
panty
pissing
semen
slut
snowballing
squirt
twinkie
vivid
vulva
women rapping

That is right you deviants. Google is judging us. We might as well get used to it.

[source]

Porn For Women Has Always Been Around, For The Record

The 10 Best High School Movies Of All Time

Paul Thomas Anderson's "The Master" And 4 More Overhyped Films

Your Guide To Jason & Jeremy London (AKA Which One Pooped In A Cop Car?)

"America Is A Nation of Excuses": Fox News Guest Says Being Fat Negates All Adele's Accomplishments

About Sarah Braesch

Sarah likes to run her mouth all over the internet. Not like that, you perverts! Like this: Sarah and the Goon Squad, Draft Day Suit, MamaPop, BlogHer etc.

http://www.theburghbaby.com burghbaby
It is completely your fault when I eventually spend hours finding more things it won’t autocomplete. DAMN YOU.
http://fawnlikeadeer.blogspot.com Fawn Amber
BWAHAHAHAHA…this was awesome!
http://www.sweetney.com Sweetney
I love you, Sarah.
http://the-holmes.blogspot.com Holmes
Geez, it’s gonna take me forever to search for how to kill bisexual cornholes.
http://clumberkim.com ClumberKim
That’s it. I want your job. Also? I’m 12.
http://twobusy.typepad.com TwoBusy
I’m very relieved that Google is trying to steer us away from the New Pornographers.
- http://www.lauriewrites.com Laurie
  HATER!
  Haha.
  No, really.
http://www.morninglightmama.com morninglightmama
Dude! No barenaked ladies??? That’s taking it too far, methinks. Although, perhaps it’s just because they’re nowhere near as good as they were before Steven Page left the band. :)
http://www.thepalinode.com Palinode
Ball gravy?
- http://sarahandthegoonsquad.com/ Sarah Goon Squad Sarah
  I had never heard of ball gravy before today, but I will be using that term from now on.
  Most likely I will overuse it.
http://aroadwithaview.com Jennifer
Jenna Jameson on that list makes the most sense of all.
jen
So bisexual is on the “bad words” list ut homosexual isn’t?!? And I hope Latinas are offended to now be a “bad word”(!). Plus this is going to confuse people from Cincinnati because they think cornhole is something else entirely, lol (a game~and no not that “game” your thinking about)!
- http://sarahandthegoonsquad.com/ Sarah Goon Squad Sarah
  I know! How can bisexual me a bad word? Or nipple? “Lolita” is classic literature. Hairy?
  They are nuts!
  - http://sarahandthegoonsquad.com/ Sarah Goon Squad Sarah
    Ha ha! I said nuts.
- http://www.lauriewrites.com Laurie
  Cornhole is an entirely legit game. You can call it by it’s other name of “Bags” but Google probably doesn’t like that either.
  - jen
    “Bags” would be better. At least it wouldn’t be named after buttfuc*ing! I’ll consider it a perfectly legit game when it gets a legit name. Maybe they should call it buggering? Oh wait! Silly midwesterners probably wouldn’t know what that means (like they didn’t know what CORNHOLEING is ether, lol)
Suzy Q
How can “smegma” not be on that list?
- http://sarahandthegoonsquad.com/ Sarah Goon Squad Sarah
  It might be somewhere. If not – you should contact Google immediately!
http://loraleeslooneytunes.com Loralee
Great. I’m totally fucked.
;)
DianaCLT
This? Is why I love me some MamaPop.
Pingback: Sarah and the Goon Squad » Randomness Part 132
Melissa
I will say that the other day while at the bar with friends I typed in “tree that smells” and it filled in “like sperm”. Totally read my mind.