Travel Channel’s Ghost Adventures Is, Like, Serious Ghost Hunting, Bro

When my son and I sit down to watch TV together, we usually have to find some kind of compromise between the Nickelodeon fodder that he wants to watch but that gets on my nerves after five minutes and the HBO dramas or movies that I would like to watch but that aren’t appropriate for him. We often end up watching an offering from one of the Discovery or History channels, which is semi-educational, not boring, and usually appropriate for both of us.

We both have a weakness for documentary-style shows about ghosts and haunted locations. The Travel Channel is a particularly good source for stuff like this as they’ll occasionally air programs about the world’s most haunted destinations. This programming starts picking up in the fall, close to Halloween, and it’s fun to see footage of the admittedly creepy locales and hear the tales of encounters that people have had. Eerie enough to be appropriate for the season, but still silly enough to giggle at.

The Travel Channel’s main haunting show is called Ghost Adventures and it’s by far our favorite. Ghost Adventures, which premiered on the Travel Channel in 2008, stars Zak Bagans, Nick Groff, and Aaron Goodwin. The trio met in Las Vegas, Nevada, where they had all moved to pursue documentary filmmaking careers. Their burgeoning interests in paranormal investigating led them to create the Ghost Adventures Crew and to find themselves the stars of their Travel Channel show.

The format is pretty basic. Zak, the unofficial leader, Nick, and Aaron travel to various locales that are reportedly haunted and lock themselves in overnight. They film their experiences as they explore the building and use paranormal investigation tools like digital voice recorders and EMF meters to document the supernatural events. The results are enhanced by a soundtrack of ominous and intense tones.

This is all familiar territory to anyone who has watched a show about hauntings before. What makes Ghost Adventures different is the hosts. Zak, Nick, and Aaron are so odd and so into their jobs that it’s both hilarious and inspiring. The unofficial fourth star of the show is Zak’s hair. A wonder of gel and gravity, it takes the fauxhawk to artistic levels heretofore unknown, though it is often the first casualty of an episode’s lockdown. There are frustratingly few decent pictures of Zak’s hair, but here are a few that will give you a sense of its glory:

Note the sheer height of the fauxhawk in the first picture and the baffling forward motion on the temples in the second.

Unofficial fifth star? Zak’s muscles, which are always encased in a skin-tight shirt. Gotta show off the guns so that the ghosts know that you’ll kick their asses, ya dig?

Zak, Nick, and Aaron make their way through the buildings that they investigate, usually drumming up activity by challenging the ghosts to fight them. “YA WANNA MESS WITH US? I’M NOT SCARED OF YOU, YOU DEAD PUNK!” The trio then shush each other in a panicked manner because, “Dude, did you hear that? I fucking heard something, bro. I fucking heard chains being dragged above us, bro. I’m not fucking kidding, dude. I’m fucking freaking out right now, for real.”

After the initial contact is made, Zak will turn on his digital voice recorder so that they can capture EVPs (electronic voice phenomenons for those of you playing at home) of garbled, staticky whispers of ghosts saying things that make my eyebrow raise, like, “Let’s beat him up,” “Don’t sweat it,” and “I’m pregnant.” At this point, a bug…or, I’m sorry, an “orb of energy” will fly past. “Holy shit, did you see that fucking orb? A fucking orb just flew right into my head, bro. I hope it’s not trying to, like, channel me or something, bro.” Of course, the orbs always channel them, which is a really great opportunity for “Zak” to tell Aaron to go fuck himself. But it’s not really Zak, of course, so they’re still bros and it’s all good in the hood.

At the end of each episode, Zak will usually have an “expert” examine their footage and tell them how kick-ass it is. A recent episode featured a “speech pathologist” who has a background in deciphering whispers and, I would guess, has played Telephone countless times. Please note that the expert has a “background” and not a “bachelor’s” or any other kind of credentials and appeared on the show wearing a bright, neon pink sweater with feathers all over it and appeared to have just recovered from her most recent face lift. Or maybe she really was just that surprised at Zak’s spooky footage of him and his manly bros wetting their pants in an abandoned mental hospital.

Color me skeptical, but I think it’s fairly obvious that the investigations are mostly performance. But like any other bad show that you find so ridiculous that you can’t help but watch, it has that certain je ne sais quoi that makes it impossible to turn off.

Because the internet always appreciates these things, someone has compiled a video of awesome moments from Ghost Adventures. Behold:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lAScd2dZz7U[/youtube]

Wherever Zak, Aaron, and Nick go, I’ll be watching.

Bro.