Ten Bitchin’ Pop Culture Halloween Costumes

When it comes to Halloween costumes, there’s no shortage of ideas to be mined from the pop culture annals. There will be a meat-dress Gaga and a Sue Sylvester at every party you go to this year, as well as a few Betty Whites. Here’s my recommendation for costume ideas that true pop culture fiends will appreciate.

1. Neil Patrick Harris the Dad.  Dr. Horrible was sooooo last year. Suit up and grab your twin sons.

All you need is a suit and two dolls in baby harnesses, maybe a stuffed unicorn if you are into Party and Bullshit, WHICH I KNOW YOU ARE.

2. Sister Wives Gather a crew to play TLC’s latest “unique” family.

Bonus points for suppressing seething jealously and resentment throughtout your Halloween festivities.

3. Taylor Momsen Oh, Little J. Fewer starlets have tried so hard to look so haggard. She really wants to believe she’s an Olsen twin. Don’t break the bank on eyeliner for this costume.



4. Pregnant Mariah I started singing “Finally” when I heard Mariah Carey’s pregnancy confirmed, but then I realized that was CC Peniston or something.

Anyway, get yourself some giant glasses and wear something drapey. You know Mimoo’s going to make pregnancy hot.

5. Keanu Doing Tai Chi Laurie sent this photo to the MamaPop distro list, and I instantly recognized it as the perfect costume for the woman who has a scruffy boyfriend uninterested in Halloween costumes.

Keanu, man. I fucking love you. Whatever keeps you Zen.

6. Charlie Sheen in Prison Okay, so I know Sheen is avoiding hard time…right now. We all know there’s no way this will be the last Sheen mugshot to grace in the interwebs. It’s too easy. Orange jumpsuit. Coke on your nose.  Maybe some Rick Vaughn glasses. This man, he must be mocked.



7. Kings of Leon’s Jared Followill Step 1: dress like a hipster.Step 2: sling a bass over your shoulder. Step 3: Apply white facepaint to your mouth to resemble the *alleged* bird shit that made Kings of Leon bail on their 2010 St Louis show after only three songs. This one is much easier than trying to create a literal interpretation of a douchecanoe, trust me.



8. Jet Blue Employee Steven Slater Accessorize your easy-to-assemble flight attendant outfit with two fistfuls of beers pilfered from your soon-to-be-former employer. Finishing touch: snarky rage.



9. Sons of Anarchy’s Tara, Opie, or Jax Think about this: you and your friends dressing up like SAMCRO, then riding around in a convoy during trick or treating on scooters? Not many people would get it, but the ones that did would probably drop their bags of loot and slow clap. What? Just me? If you can get your hands on a leather jacket, faux or otherwise, you can easily portray almost any character on my beloved FX show Sons of Anarchy. What’s that? You missed my piece on why you should watch Sons of Anarchy? Go read it. Go watch all two and a half seasons. Done? Cool. Y’all know I love Opie.

In fact, I think my husband could make a mean Opie were we not traveling this weekend–it’s all about the beard-mustache combo and the hat. For Jax: super-baggy jeans and giant white sneaks with a leather vest.

Unless you look as good as Charlie Hunnam does without a shirt, in which case, do that.Tara can go two ways: tough-yet-sexy biker chick with white doctor jacket, or scrubs with a leather motorcycle jacket.



Because she’s a doctor. And an old lady. SO COMPLEX.

10. Judge Judy

    

    So last weekend I was hanging with my friend Bomber and he just broke it down about the badassery of Judge Judy. Judge Judy has it made. She’s made a career, and a very lucrative one, by doing what I WISH I could do every day: calling people out on their bullshit. It’s amazing. She. Does. Not. Give. A. Fuck. So haul out your old grad gown, fashion a lace collar, and pick up some of those $4 reading glasses from Walgreens. Then call everyone out on their bullshit all night long. Trick or treat, bitches.

MamaPop readers: what’s your best pop culture costume? Can you top my Slash costume from two years ago?

Yes, that’s my real hair.