Tommy Wiseau Is Back with The House That Drips Blood on Alex

Stop marking the days and wishing for a relatively painless death, people. Tommy Wiseau has returned to sprinkle some meaning back into our lives with his new horror short, The House That Drips Blood on Alex.

First let me say that The House That Drips Blood on Alex is not a very scary title. It’s only mildly scary if you’re Alex, who clearly has to suffer through the inconvenience of blood spatter. If you’re not Alex, though, it’s really no big deal. Hey, bring your friends to the titular house! Have a blood-free party! Just don’t invite Alex. In fact, maybe this film is a parable about loneliness: the loneliness that can only come from being covered in blood. And then there’s the use of present tense in the title, which makes it sound like an ongoing irritant on par with a leaking radiator or a drafty window.

Beyond the title, there’s Wiseau himself, with that indeterminate accent (is it French?) and the face of an abandoned Alice Cooper roadie. Wiseau delivers all his lines like a slowly deflating balloon, which produces a weird fatigue in the viewer, as if we’re participating in the tremendous effort it takes for him to sniff a bottle of blood and say “Ketchup” (or catch-oop). Wiseau is charismatic in the same sense that a crazy person can sometimes command your attention at a coffee shop.

Wiseau owes his fame to The Room, a self-financed film from 2003 that has since become a cult favourite. Its astonishing ineptness – Wiseau’s inability to deliver a single line or place a camera efficiently in a room – has granted Wiseau a status on par with Ed Wood as a clueless auteur. It’s also a crash course on how to produce, write, direct and star in a feature film: take everything that Tommy Wiseau did and simply do the opposite. If that were true, though, you’d never get to star in The House That Drips Blood on Alex. Ketchup!

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