The public has been aware of the impending nuptials of Prince William and Kate Middleton for approximately 76 hours. Have you been frantically waiting for your Franklin Mint swag? Fear not, this is more than enough time for the tchotchke industry to kick into high gear. Here’s a look at some of the rushed to market items already available to commemorate this impending magical event. Buy now to give your grandkids something to sell on eBay later!
Every morning when you drink coffee you can be reminded of that fact that Prince William did not marry you and make you a princess. Yet. Keep the dream alive! Also, you can always accidentally drop the Kate Middleton cup a bunch of times until it breaks.
But, why settle for coffee when you can eat your meal off of William and Kate’s faces? Their beaming visages are guaranteed* to add that extra zing to your meals. (*not guaranteed)
For some reason I always thought coins were hard to make. Or at least that crafting a keepsake silver coin sure* to go up in value would took more time to craft than a dog tag at Petco. Guess I was wrong. (*not sure at all)
Call grandma because the commemorative thimbles are in! These are simultaneously lovely, useful, and seemingly shellacked by blind dolphins. Triple threat!
The perfect accessory for the modern lady who is not concerned about scaring off the menfolk by proudly displaying her rabid royal fetish. Ladies, this shirt will not get you laid. Unless you wear it ironically and you live in Williamsburg, Brooklyn and/or Austin, Texas and/or Portland, Oregon. Then it might.
While the Brits may have dubbed the soon-to-be princess Waity Katey, because that loafer Prince William took eight years of her youth and beauty to pop the question (the question being: Do you want to be a princess?) the china industry was ready. Note the “200?” THEY WERE READY. Unfortunately now it’s 2010. Curses, foiled again!
And, of course, you can buy replicas of Kate’s cursed engagement ring.
