The problem with writing a “best of 2010″ post is that it starts with the assumption that I am a relatively happy person who likes things. Except that I’m actually a total bitch who thrives off of hatred and scorn. It is like my oxygen. Delicious, deep-fried and wrapped-in-bacon oxygen.
So that means I had to employ a little…how shall I put this…creative thinking when it came to picking the best pop culture events of 2010. I had to figure out a way to accentuate the positive in a giant, sprawling field of things that all made me INSANELY ANGRY during the past 12 months:
Best Reality Show Outcome That United Every Single Person in the World Against a Common Enemy For One Brief Shining Moment (Formerly known as the “Worst Reality Show Outcome Ever”):
Project Runway, as we all clasped hands and hearts and assured each other that no, WE were not smoking crack, Nina Garcia and Michael Kors were smoking crack, and Gretchen’s collection was ugly and Mondo’s was awesome and Jessica Goddamn Simpson was MAKING SENSE and up was down and left was right and none of us are ever watching this show again until probably next season or something, SO THERE.
Best Reality Show For Making You Really, Really Grateful That Top Chef All-Stars Doesn’t Completely Suck (Also known as the “Best Reality Show For Dieting People Because It Managed to Make Goddamn CAKE Seem So Extremely Unappealing”):
Top Chef: Just Desserts. Now let us never speak of it again.
Best TV Drama (That Just Showed Up & Quickly Became the Greatest Thing In the Entire World For Like, Six Weeks Before Being All, “That’s All I’ve Got, See You in a Goddamned Year”):
The Walking Dead. All we have left until next October is the memories. And the kill shots, of course.
Best Mamapop Recaps For a Show That You Could Not Pay Me Enough To Watch, and I Don’t Know How We Talked TwoBusy Into Doing It Either (AKA “The Horror, THE POP-CULTURE-Y HORROR”):
Skating with the Stars. Or “Stars.” No, even that’s not enough. Skating with the “”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”Stars“”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"” Or as TwoBusy aptly called it, your “Weekly Snuff Film of Human Hope.”
Best Sitcom That Will Probably Get Canceled Let’s Just Not Talk About That Last Bit, la la la RAINBOWS:
Community. For Christmas I’m going to hunt down everybody who isn’t watching it and shoot them with a paint gun! Happy Holidays, assholes!
CHRISTMAS PTERODACTYL!!!!!!TOP POSTS