Most people, when prompted for a list of things they like, usually come up with items like ‘my friends and family, cuddling with my dog Snuffles, and sleeping in on Black Friday’. You know what’s generally absent from that list? Pretending to have sex on a movie set. Unless you’re Emma Stone, I guess.
In a recent interview for W Magazine, Stone – who is playing the role of Gwen Stacy in the upcoming Spiderman movie – talked about the demands of celebrity and the strangeness of being nominated for a Golden Globe for her role in the recent comedy Easy A.
She also said that simulated sex is fun: “Simulation of sex is a real workout. We must have done a hundred takes. There was an oxygen take at one point. It took two days. Simulated sex is really fun, but it’s not easy.”
Really? That’s fun? I’ve never pretended to have sex, but after the comedy value fades (and that would take thirty seconds) I can’t really see the point. In fact, I’m betting that actual sex beats simulated sex 90% of the time.
See, here’s Emma Stone simulating sexual interest in the viewer of this image (that’s you):
Oh sure, she looks like she’s into you. She put on a clingy sweater dress and stretched herself across a sofa to give you a look as if to say, ‘Oh please won’t you join me for a hot cocoa and a night of watching America’s Got Talent on my DVR’, but you know that if you actually showed up at her house with a Tassimo and some hot chocolate mix at 3 AM she’d just call the cops on you. Next time I’m going to come by in the afternoon and wear something nice. I can still fit into my prom tux, you know.