There’s nothing quite like shopping for toys around Christmas. Here are the biggest head-scratchers of the season.
My son is 9 so shopping for gifts for him for Christmas is a little awkward right now. He’s not into toys so much anymore, and of course he doesn’t want clothes. It’s mostly movies, books, video games, and other oh-my-god-my-baby-isn’t-a-baby-anymore items. But we still like to peruse the weekly ads and catalogs that come around at the end of the year.
Most of what is contained in these catalogs ranges from classic items that you see every year to the useless crap that will be cluttering up every corner of your house by December 26th. Then there are a few that are just soooo out there that I felt the need to present them to you so that I confirm that I’m not alone in wondering what the hell is up with them.
These first two go together.
That’s the Barbie Video Girl doll and the Spynet Video Watch. The slogan for these is not, “Now your big brother is Big Brother!” but it really should be. Both of these toys allow youngsters to plant video surveillance devices on themselves so that they can record the activities of their friends, their parents, their pets…whoever. It’s not that I didn’t like playing spies when I was a kid, it’s just that I wasn’t readily outfitted with James Bond’s cast-off gadgets.
My Little Pony has taken an odd turn the past couple of years. Their makers, following the tarting-up trend of toys, have found a way to do so to a pony. The Ponies used to be chubby and cute and child-like. Now they’re skinny and have their mouths drooping open in a sexy-mouth kind of way. It’s weird. But besides their come-hither makeover, the Ponies are up to some odd activities.
The plane is pink/purple, has rainbows and hearts on it…and is being piloted by a sexy pony wearing a scarf. This comes with LSD, right?
This Pony is half mermaid. Didn’t The Island of Dr. Moreau warn us about the dangers of vivisection?
There’s nothing inherently bizarre about this one. I’m just having visions of sugarplums (read: kids) dancing (read: jumping off of the dining room table and falling with style and spraining an ankle, all while a flustered parent yells in the background, “I TOLD YOU THEY’RE NOT REALLY WINGS OH GODDAMMIT NOW WE HAVE TO GO TO THE ER!”).
Have you seen any other toys in your travels that have baffled you? I’m not saying that any of these are BAD toys or that those who give them are BAD gift-givers. They’re just a little WTF is all. Happy shopping!
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