There you are, rolling down the street, searching for something to eat. And then it hits you. You want chicken. Tasty, deep fried, and succulent. The very best kind of chicken. Out of the corner of your eye, you spy a Kentucky Fried Chicken. This makes you happy inside. Your mouth starts to water and your tongue starts to yearn for the Colonel’s secret recipe.
And then it happens.
Something so crazy and out of the ordinary, it stops you dead in your tracks.
As you try to come to grips with what your eyes are seeing, your curiosity grows. Suddenly, you find yourself pulling into the parking lot across from KFC.
Because you saw Flavor Flav. He’s standing outside of the building that sits directly across from your beloved KFC. He’s holding a bucket of his very own fried chicken. He beckons you in.
And of course, you obey.
This aforementioned scenario has surely been thought out by not only me, but Flavor Flav himself. Why? Simple. Mr. Flav has gone and done it. He has opened up his own fried chicken restaurant.
Flav’s Fried Chicken opened up in Clinton, Iowa yesterday. Yes. You read that correctly. Clinton, Iowa. The very same Clinton, Iowa that in 2009, had a booming population of just under 27,000 chicken loving residents. I am not quite sure why Flavor Flav chose the middle of Iowa to open up his very first chicken eatery. Hell, I’m from Iowa and I wouldn’t even go all the way there just to try the deep fried goodness.
This got me thinking. And as you all know, when I think, very bad things happen. What in the fuckity fuck kind of ingredients would be in Flavor Flav’s secret recipe? I am sure he has the usual suspects. You know, salt, pepper, and Valtrex. But other than that, what sets his chicken apart from the big dogs?
Oh. Wait. The man’s first name is FLAVOR.
I think I just got served.