Fox Greenlights “I Hate My Teenage Daughter”

01/24/2011 by

Not to be outdone by CBS’s oh-so-shockingly titled $h*! My Dad Says, the Fox network has ordered their very own multicamera comedy pilot sure to scandalize your Gramma:  I Hate My Teenage Daughter.

Greg the Bunny1 525x244 Fox Greenlights “I Hate My Teenage Daughter”

Greg the Bunny doesn’t look quite so bad now, huh?

The plot centers around two mothers who come to the realization that their teenage daughters have morphed into the very same breed of Mean Girl they loathed in high school. Now, I consider myself a relatively creative sort, but I’ve been trying for days to imagine where they could go with this concept, and this is all I can come up with:

MOM 1: Do you know what Marissa told me this morning?

MOM 2: What?

MOM 1: She said she was quitting volleyball because girls who play volleyball are losers.

MOM 2: But…we played volleyball!

MOM 1: I know, right?

MOM 2: God, I fucking hate our daughters so much.

FIN

Seriously, that’s all I’ve got. I mean, I see what Fox is trying to do with the “shocking” title (sure to ire many a “We do not use that word in this house!” parent), but beyond that, how funny can this one-note show really be? It would be way more engaging as a drama, I think, but that territory has already been expertly conquered by movies like Thirteen.

Thirteen 525x325 Fox Greenlights “I Hate My Teenage Daughter”

This movie is by far the most disturbing thing Evan Rachel Wood has ever done, and that’s including Marilyn Manson.

Also, is it news to anyone that teenagers are dicks? It’s pretty much their job. If you want to do something new, approach this shit from the other end of the spectrum and pitch I Love My Teenage Daughter. You show me a teenager who fosters an open and honest relationship of respect and love with her parent, and I’ll show you a freakshow I’d tune in to watch each week.

Mother Daughter2 525x295 Fox Greenlights “I Hate My Teenage Daughter”

You can talk to your Mom without rolling your eyes and slamming a door in her face? Spazz.

As it is, the whole thing feels tired and hack to me already, and they probably haven’t even begun filming. While I’m glad to see Fox veering away from reality-heavy programming, is it too much to ask to have a fresh idea up in this mother? Next thing you know, we’ll be watching My Toddler Acts Like An Obstinate Hobo and I Resent My Mother-in-Law From Time to Time. Not exactly uncharted waters, my friends.

Pretty much.

 

 

 

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About Jive Turkey

Jive Turkey lives in Pittsburgh and spends her time desperately clinging to the hope that someday the cast of Deadwood will destroy the cast of Glee.


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Filed Under: Best Of Featured, Best Of MamaPop, Comedy, Evan Rachel Wood, Fail, Movies, News, Parenthood, Television, Things That Suck, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, TV, WTF? Tagged With: evan rachel wood, Film, fox, Greg the Bunny, I Hate My Teenage Daughter, marilyn manson, Movies, News, pilot, shit my dad says, sitcom, Television, thirteen
  • http://www.themomslant.com Julie

    I seriously hate this show idea. First, how fucking obvious – teen/parent conflict. But even worse, I cringe at the “hate my daughter” title. Conflict does not equal hate, and if there’s ever a time that kids need their parents to *love* them (even when they’re dicks), it’s those shitty teen years when kids can’t count on anybody else.

    Now, “I Hate My Teenage Daughter’s Boyfriend,” on the other hand – that would be a fucking awesome show.

    • http://jiveturkeyjives.com/ jive turkey

      I KNOW! But unconditional love isn’t FUNNY. Funny like GREG THE FUCKING BUNNY.

  • Rachel

    As if girls that age don’t already have self-esteem issues, now they’re getting this wonderfully healthy message: “You’re acting like a normal kid in the process of growing up and your parents hate you for it! Enjoy cutting yourself!” I loathe Fox more every single day.

    • http://jiveturkeyjives.com/ jive turkey

      YES! Precisely. That is exactly what I was getting at, except I couldn’t articulate it quite as well so I just inserted a clip of a guy beating a dead horse to the Benny Hill song.

  • http://swistle.blogspot.com/ Swistle

    AHA HA HA HA AHA HA!! I totally think you should write scripts for them, because I am 100% sure it is better than what they will come up. Okay, 99%, because I thought Sports Night would be about sports.

    • http://jiveturkeyjives.com/ jive turkey

      HA!

  • http://raisingzoeyjane.com Zoeyjane

    I just lost my shit while reading this whole thing. Cuz it’s teh funny, I mean. And I obviously wasn’t paying a lot of attention to the actual info, cuz it took me til the end to figure out that it wasn’t a reality show. And in that case, WTF is with the title?

    • http://jiveturkeyjives.com/ jive turkey

      I can’t even imagine this as a reality show. In fact, let’s lower out voices. I’m afraid Fox will hear us talking about it & think it’s a good idea.

  • http://flotsamblog.com Alexa

    I would totally watch “My Toddler Acts Like an Obstinate Hobo.” In fact, I would be happy to produce and direct said show, and I am pretty sure I know where we could find someone for the toddler/obstinate hobo role.

    • http://jiveturkeyjives.com/ jive turkey

      I’ve been saying it for years: the only thing separating a toddler from hobo-hood is the lack of a bindle.

  • Holly

    ‘I Resent My Mother-in-law…’ gave me a really good laugh. I think you’ve got some great ideas to pitch to the networks.

    Seriously, though. What Julie said. Being a teen sucks enough without some terrible show highlighting the worst aspects of those years.

    • http://jiveturkeyjives.com/ jive turkey

      Exactly.

  • Jilliana

    ” You show me a teenager who fosters an open and honest relationship of respect and love with her parent, and I’ll show you a freakshow I’d tune in to watch each week.”

    They already did that. It was called Gilmore Girls.

    • http://anerinaday.blogspot.com ErinElizabeth

      I was going to say the same! Seven seasons, and still re-running. Who could hate Lorelai and Rory.

      • Suzy Q

        I’ve been watching reruns of GG lately and have come to realize that Lorelai and Rory are not nearly as endearing as I remembered. Perhaps I’ve matured.

        • http://jiveturkeyjives.com/ jive turkey

          Oh, you guys. Don’t hate me, but I COULD NOT STAND Gilmore Girls. I watched one episode and wanted to set myself on fire.

  • http://www.meangirlgarage.com Jules

    I’d like a show called, “My Students Lose Recess Again for Not Doing Their Homework.” I guess we could shorten that to, “I Hate Giving Homework that Students Won’t Do.” Wait. That’s not shorter.

    Never mind.

    That title is stupid.

    • http://jiveturkeyjives.com/ jive turkey

      How about “All You Little Punks Better Do What I Say Or You’ll Be In 9th Grade Until You’re Thirty?”

  • http://twitter.com/ryenerman Maggie

    I would totally watch a double feature of My Toddler Acts Like An Obstinate Hobo and I Resent My Mother-in-law From Time to Time. Also in the line up could be My Eight Year Old Occasionally Acts Like He’s Had Speed For Breakfast.

    • http://jiveturkeyjives.com/ jive turkey

      I would seriously watch that.

  • http://swanfeet.wordpress.com/ ladyphlogiston

    Not to mention My Husband Forgets Things Sometimes

    and possibly My Patients Don’t Exercise And Eat Healthy Like I Tell Them To

    I really think we’ve got something here

    • http://jiveturkeyjives.com/ jive turkey

      Remind me to send you my spec script for “Who Put the Empty Milk Carton Back in the Fridge?” It’s brilliant.

      • http://swanfeet.wordpress.com/ ladyphlogiston

        Mom:
        Who put this empty milk carton back in the fridge?

        Teenaged Daughter:

        Husband: huh? Oh. I dunno.

        Eight-Year-Old Son: POOPYPANTS!!!

        Mom:

        FIN

        • http://swanfeet.wordpress.com/ ladyphlogiston

          drat. forgot it would strip out anything in pointy brackets. take two:

          Mom: *pulls out carton and sets it on counter*
          Who put this empty milk carton back in the fridge?

          Teenaged Daughter: *rolls eyes and sighs heavily*

          Husband: huh? Oh. I dunno. *puts empty carton back into the fridge*

          Eight-Year-Old Son: POOPYPANTS!!!

          Mom: *heads for liquor cabinet*

          FIN

  • Sekhmetnakt

    I hate the title and idea, will never watch it. I got along great with my dad as a teen. Nether of us had anything but love and respect for one another. Probably because his wife, my mother died when I was nine. We had each-other and not much more. I hate to say it but many of the parents and teens now days in no way deserve each-other. They deserve nothing and make me sick. I pledge to have the same kind of relationship with my kid as my dad did with me, not an unfunny, disrespectful freakshow of “normal” (ie dysfunctional). Puke!

  • jenny

    Aw, c’mon. It’s FOX. It’ll be on for one episode, they’ll change the night and time, show another one and then dump it. Oh wait, they only do that with the good/funny shows or anything by Joss Whedon. This one is bound to be on for YEARS!