The Golden Globes delivered a lot of fail this year, and not just with the awards. After the hangover subsides, these people really need to fire their stylists:
The Shower Curtains
Drapes can make bitchin’ evening and sportswear, as Scarlett O’Hara and the Von Trapp kids, respectively, can attest. However, as a rule, I’d steer clear of shower curtains. Unfortunately, my advice comes too late for Michelle Williams and Heidi Klum.
The Falcon Crest/Dynasty
I will fight this 80s revival tooth and nail until it goes back to the awful decade whence it came. I cannot let pass without redress the proliferation of severe shoulder pads or the “cover-up-the-track-marks” sleeves this year. Wake me up when they bring back the 90s.
The Mad Women
No, not Helena Bonham Carter (we’ll get to her soon, though). I’m talking about the ladies of Mad Men. How is it they all can look so stunning on the show and be such hot messes most of the time on the red carpet?
Elisabeth Moss’s dress is almost a not-fail, except that weird panel in the middle, and the rococo-boobs, which never look good, designers, so please stop.
January Jones said she picked this Versace dress off the runway, but I’m pretty sure it’s actually a set decoration from Burlesque.
Oh, Christina Hendricks. I want so much for you to look as stunning as you are. I cross my fingers and hope and pray each time that you’ll find the right dress, and once or twice my prayers have been answered, but this was just a big crimson tide of sadness. And you should really punch whomever did your hair. They’ll thank you for it some day.
Fails that Defy Classification
Christina Aguilera has the worst stylist in Hollywood. Here she is in another dress cut all wrong for her that makes her look extremely bottom heavy…and 40. There would be nothing wrong with that if she were 40, but shit-goddamn, people. She is starting to look like a drag impersonation of herself.
I know I said to wake me up for the 90s revival, but I was kinda hoping we could leave the Madonna-underwear-as-outerwear behind.
Helena Bonham Carter looks like a Goth Ole Opry star. However, I may have to give her a Tilda Swinton Pass. When someone is clearly so eccentric and I-don’t-give-a-fuck as those two, at a certain point I just step back, golf clap and say, “you go, you freaky bitch you.”
So, while the rest of the blogs will probably say HBC was worst dressed last night, I think they should maybe take another long hard look at this:
Let’s focus in on the top:
The color is terrible, yes, but that ROGUE SLEEVE. It is eating her jewelry. It’s going for the clutch next, I just know it! Seriously, so so so fug.
Surely these are the most egregious errors of the evening, but who else made your list?
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