WTF ARE YOU WEARING? 2011 SAG Awards Red Carpet Failures

01/31/2011 by

Last night’s Hollywood circle jerk was a real snoozefest in all respects, even fashion. No standout, spectacular apparel and no truly epic failures. Nevertheless, here are some stars who should have just said NO to the dress before hitting the red carpet:

Christina Hendricks in L’Wren Scott

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She looks like she’s in wardrobe to play Jennifer from Valley of the Dolls. Seriously, this is basically a boudoir robe that needs a hemming. It looks like she should be wearing maribou slippers with kitten heels and holding a fistful of Seconals.

Kate Mara in… this thing

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I’m pretty sure this isn’t even a dress. This is either  a Victorian-era foundation garment, or an instrument of torture from the Spanish Inquisition.

Hailee Stanfield in Prada

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Hey, Hailee, where did you find my bedspread from the 9th grade? I love it when people dare to wear bold prints, but I’m not sure awards shows are ever the place for tangerine and fuschia stripes. I’m not even entirely sure my teenage bedroom was the place. I have a feeling many will disagree, though.

Nicole Kidman in OMG WHAT IS HAPPENING FROM YOUR NECK UP?

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GAH! No, really, that’s all I can say. What an unfortunate picture.

January Jones in Carolina Herrera

Usually this would be the part when I slag on January Jones, only she looked fantastic last night—perhaps the best dressed of the evening. Just…WOW. I’m kind of in shock, not just because I usually hate what January wears, but because I also usually hate Carolina Herrera gowns. Whomever did her hair deserves a blow job from Jake Gyllenhaal, and it was also really smart not to pile on the jewels. With a dress that has that much going on, big accessories will turn it into a disaster, fast. Well done, Betty!

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Winona Ryder in Alberta Ferretti

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What’s up, Miss Havisham! If Wino doesn’t want people to think she’s crazy, she should really stop looking the part.

Kim Kardashian in Marchesa

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Kim, I’m pretty sure we’ve had this discussion a dozen times by now. When you are that stacked, and you wear an asymmetrical bodice, you look like somewhat melted one side of your bodacious décolletage. I hope I don’t have to tell you again.

If any fails missed my radar (or if you think  someone above other than Ms. Jones looks great and I’m on crack), holler back.

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About Snarky Amber

Snarky Amber pursued a degree in interdisciplinary studies in order to obtain a well-rounded perspective, which she now uses to make fun of people who make more money in a week than she stands to make in a lifetime.


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Filed Under: Awards Shows, Best Of Featured, Best Of MamaPop, Boobs, Celebrities, Celebrity Fashion, Celebrity Hair, Kardashiana, Mad Men, Red Carpet, Uncategorized, WTF ARE YOU WEARING? Tagged With: Awards Shows, Christina Hendricks, Fashion, fashion fail, hailee stanfield, hollywood, january jones, kate mara, kim kardashian, Nicole Kidman, red carpet fashion, sag awards, Winona Ryder
  • http://www.thatbadpenguin.com hillary

    I actually thought Hailee looked cute and age appropriate. I’d never wear that dress, but it worked on her. I’m with you on the rest of these though.

    • nadine

      I thought it was cute too – just too long. Lop off the ruffle at the bottom and it would have been perfect.

    • Sekhmetnakt

      I agree also. I don’t get why her dress is supposed to be bad? Wouldn’t work on everyone, works on her IMO.

  • Suzy Q

    I think Winona Ryder bought her dress at David’s Bridals. On the sale rack.

    Another horrible dress was the one Jane Lynch was wearing. An amethyst tragedy.

    Amy Poehler was wearing what looked like a dress for a business meeting. Maybe she went to the wrong event?

    I also thought Hailee’s dress was cute and age-appropriate. The ruffle at the bottom was…not so good, though.

  • http://magical27.blogspot.com Kirsty

    Sorry, but I think January’s dress looks like (particularly nasty) wallpaper… But I did like Hailee’s stripey thing, very cute. Other than that, I thought Amy Adams looked like a corpse (I’m really, really pale myself and would never wear white like that; even though AA is undoubtedly prettier/thinner than I am, I still think she looked terrible) and Lea Michele looked pretty elegant. Also thought Amber Riley looked pretty good…
    Any info on what the men were wearing? I didn’t see the show (can’t find out how to see it here in France) and am curious…

    • Queen Anne

      http://www.gofugyourself.com usually does a good job covering the men and women… and they are nice and bitchy, which I love.

    • http://www.meangirlgarage.com Jules

      January needs to just borrow clothes from ‘Mad Men.’ Seriously.

  • Becky

    That Kate Mara person (whom I have never seen or heard of before right now) looks terribly uncomfortable in that dress. I think she knows it is wrong. Very few people can wear that color, and she is not one of them. (We won’t go into the “cut” and all that, you said enougth.) Fire your stylist, honey.

  • http://www.traceygaughranperez.com Sweetney

    Winona Ryder’s constant look of SHOCK AND AWE makes me think maybe she’s gotten some kind of work done? It’s freaking me out a little.

    • Suzy Q

      She also had one of the best seats in the house. WTF?

  • http://raisingzoeyjane.com Zoeyjane

    “Whomever did her hair deserves a blow job from Jake Gyllenhaal” I’m SO recycling that, as appropriate.

    I saw Hilary Swank looking really magnificent in post-show photos, but I’m actually a tiny bit worried that she wasn’t even there, since it was SUCH a glaring DO and you didn’t mention her.

    And as much as it pains me, I thought Lea Michelle looked pretty gorgeous. I’d like her hair stylist on speed dial.

  • Lynne

    I think Valerie Bertinelli looked wonderful in red.

    I thought the teenager above (Hailee?) looked appropriate in the bright stripes. I hate it when teenagers dress like they are old(er) women.

  • http://glorifiedloveletters.blogspot.com Sara H

    Honestly unless it’s insanely bad, I really don’t care what Christina Hendricks is wearing so as long as she’s present.

  • DianaCLT

    You know how everyone jokes about taking Underwater Basket-Weaving classes?

    I always thought they were a myth. Nay, a joke!

    Kate Mara’s dress, however? Pretty sure that was the final project for such a class.

  • CH

    Christina Hendricks needs to poach Sofia Vergara’s stylist, as she always shows up to events wearing gowns that are appropriate for her va-va-voom figure but not horrifying. Hendricks can look SO awewsome when she wants to (remember the emerald green Emmy dress from a few years ago?), but she keeps making poor choices that are just awful.

    I was nervous when I saw January in the rundown here, as I really liked that look for her. I was in the minority that liked her Globes dress, but this was a great look.

    I like Hailee’s outfit. It annoys me when young people dress like old ladies, but that dress is something I could totally envision a 14 year old picking and saying, “THIS!”

    Why does Winona look so scared?

    I love her, but Julie Bowen needs to be on this list. The saggy neckline and satin pants suit just weren’t working.

  • http://www.rebecca-crawford.com Becca

    Why is January Jones leaning like a tower in Pisa? Everyone else seems to be completely upright, yet she’s clearly leaning. It’s making me dizzy.

    • AmandaJo

      Jesus, she is, isn’t she? I knew there was more about that picture than just the dress that was making me feel tipsy.