If this were 1999, I’d go on a rant about how Robert Pattinson and his fanged brethren are to blame for the rash of body glitter bespoiling the youth of the first world, but no, that was a trend of our own design back then, and we can point no glittery fingers at anyone but ourselves. Trends and product placements in entertainment can still be blamed for a lot of our bad decisions–The Rachel, anyone?–but their awesomeness can also sometimes make up for the insult of being subjected to such blatant shilling when we’re just trying to have a nice evening and watch a movie while enjoying the Coca-Cola© beverage of our choice and perhaps a sleeve of Red Vines™ if we’re feeling flush.
Here are ten memorable product placements (that I’m calling “product placements” even if a corporation didn’t buy its way into a feature role).
1. Mini Coopers in The Italian Job
A giant chunk of this movie is devoted to following these stylish and speedy tin cans dodge the bad guys through traffic, narrow alleyways, subway tunnels, and even the interior of a mansion. It’s product placement, all right (and I suspect the release of the new Minis was the inspiration for the 2003 homage to the 1969 movie of the same name, which features the original Mini chase), but this is also a product placement that makes sense because I don’t think Chevy could have paid enough to wedge its extended-cab 4x4s into this scene.
2. Red Swingline stapler in Office Space
Did you know Swingline didn’t even make a red stapler before the movie was released and hit the bigtime with a cult following? It’s true. They apparently decided to manufacture the model in response to public demand, which included one particularly intense fan who threatened to *mumble mumble*set the building on fire*mumble* if he didn’t get his red Swingline stapler, and fast.
3. Doritos, Reebok, Pepsi, Pizza Hut, and Nuprin in Wayne’s World
I’m including this one because as obvious as it is that product placement is being parodied here, I’ve watched this movie with people who gave themselves a hearty pat on the back after pointing out to an entire room full of peers how unbelievable it is that Wayne is deconstructing product placement while he is engaging in the very thing he abhors. Inconceivable! Those people, in turn, earned themselves a condescending pat on the head.
4. Club Monaco’s Glaze lipstick and Monica Lewinsky
Was Monica Lewinsky’s 1999 interview with Barbara Walters actually an interview or was it merely an opportunity for the public to gaze upon the woman who was able to snag the most powerful and influential man in the world? She was talking, but was anyone listening? Remember how everyone seemed to lose their damn fool minds over her lipstick, and Club Monaco reported selling out of the shade over and over again? What was going on here? Were women buying the lipstick as a tool for seducing powerful men? Were men buying the lipstick for their women as they would a naughty French maid get-up–as a fantasy accoutrement to spice up their sex lives? Or was it, conversely, a triumph that one of the most hated women in America had, with one perfect pout, seduced all of us and become, before our eyes, not a homewrecker or moral indigent but just a pretty girl with good taste in makeup–not the girlfriend your husband fools around with but the girlfriend you go shopping with? Monica herself presumably accepted the interview as a way to redeem her reputation and make a name for herself other than as the Girl Under the Desk, but what she got was the public not hearing a word she said but fixating on her lips. An unfortunate fluke, or a genius move that proved to the world she couldn’t help being irresistable? Regardless, I think Club Monaco should have changed its name to Club Monica and given the girl some royalties.
5. Reese’s Pieces in E.T.
Reese’s Pieces were not Speilberg’s original choice, but when Mars declined the offer to use M&Ms, Hershey stepped in with Reese’s and sales of the candy climbed 65 percent in June of 1981, just after the movie was released in theaters.
6. Wine in Sideways
Speaking of films that practically tell you what refreshments you should be enjoying concurrently, I’d venture it’s impossible to watch Sideways without a glass–or bottle–or flask–or thermos–of wine at your side. Paul Giamatti’s main character bashes Merlot throughout the film, and whaddya know, Merlot sales tanked soon afterward. In turn, Pinot Noir, as well as the entire market of California wines, saw a sharp rise in popularity during the fall and winter of 2004.
7. Calvin Klein underwear in Back to the Future
I have no actual data on this one, but I like to imagine the takeaway from this film trilogy was hundreds of thousands of strapping young men in quality tighty-whiteys and not orange puffy vests, pegged stonewash jeans, and giant white tennis shoes that look like they belong on a Disney character costume–oversized to balance out the weight of a gigantic cartoon head.
8. FedEx in Cast Away
All along, you thought the egregious product placement was Wilson-brand volleyballs (“The friend you can spike facedown in the sand!”), but then you got to the part where Tom Hanks’s character, after being stranded on an island long enough to grow a really heinous beard, delivers his overdue cargo to its recipient and I deliver a groan because, come on, really? The inclusion of FedEx in the movie was reportedly unpaid.
9. Babies in Babies
Oh, come on now, it made you want one too.
10. McDonald’s in Super Size Me
Is is weird that I actually wanted some fries after watching Morgan Spurlock’s documentary exposé of the fast food industry? This isn’t exactly corporate product placement, as something tells me McDonald’s didn’t pay to be the star of a movie in which our intrepid reporter vomits his Big Mac into the parking lot, but still, raise your hand if it made your mouth water a little too. (Not the pukey parts, but the rest of it.)
11. Honorable mention for best anti-product placement in a film or television series: Drugs in Requiem for a Dream
I’ll NOT have what she’s having, thanks.
