The other day while I was supposed to be working on something important, I was instead scrolling between two photos, trying to decide which of the outfits pictured most powerfully eroded my faith in humankind. It planted a seed in me (Dirty!) the seed of an idea. And thus, a new MamaPop feature was born.
On the first Friday of each month, having selflessly pored through hundreds of celebrity photos from the month before, I will select from among them the ten most egregious crimes against sensibility. I will inflict them upon share them with inflict them upon you, my wise readers, and you will vote for the most offensive of the lot, to be crowned the Worst Outfit of INSERT MONTH HERE. At the end of the year the twelve winners (losers?) will go up against one another, and we will all have a stiff drink to help us bear the sight as we decide which deserves the title of Worst Outfit of 2011.
Unfortunately, I didn’t think of this brilliant idea until now, nearly the end of February, and so we—well, YOU—have some catching up to do. Today we shall consider the candidates for Worst Outfit of January.
Some ground rules:
1. My selection process for the top ten will probably be highly arbitrary. I will gamely attempt to keep up with the month’s celebrity photos and appearances, but I am only human, and I can only take so much. Also, my grading of an outfit may well be affected by whether it is flattering, who is wearing it, and what it is being worn for. It’s hard to say. I suggest you devise a relativity-based calculation of your own, so that we don’t end up with twelve straight months of Minaj/Bonham-Carter action, but I won’t tell you how to do your job.
2. In the future, there will be some sort of Electronic Poll in the post to handle voting so that comments can be devoted to unpacking the trauma of having viewed the contestants, but I haven’t figured out how to do that yet, so this time you will have to leave your vote in your comment, and I shall be add them up on my trusty abacus.
3. Voting lasts exactly one week, closing at 9:59 a.m. next Friday. Winner announced the Friday after that, which in this case will be the first Friday in March. (By which date I will have had to wade through the many, many February contestants—Grammys and Oscars and Leotards Oh My!)
Without further ado, here are our nominees for January, 2011:
1. Drew Barrymore
2. Amy Smart
3. Tiffany
4. Raven-Symone
(Does this outfit make anyone else hungry for Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups?)
5. Anne Hathaway
6. Helena Bonham Carter
7. Milla Jojovich
(I DON’T CARE IF IT *IS* PUCCI. Caftans flatter no one.)
8. Holly Madison
(I’m pretty sure I saw this dress in the window of “Cache.” I can’t figure out how to add the accent to that “e,” so you will have to add it in your mind.)
9. Wendie Malick
10. Downtown Julie Brown
About Alexa Stevenson
