Today is Mardi Gras, the prettier, French-er way of saying FAT TUESDAY, the day before Lent begins and all is reduced to dreary sacrifice. Traditionally this day of gluttony is celebrated with toplessness, drunken orgies, and cheap costume jewelry—but some of us have families. Some of us are lazy. Some of us are lazy AND have families. We are too sleepy to go wild, and anyway, I don’t particularly feel like unleashing my post-nursing breasts upon the public.
{There are so many things wrong with this picture.}
As an atheist, I do not feel compelled to give anything up for Lent. But that doesn’t mean I can’t celebrate the day before, the gluttony portion of the Holy Season program, and if I am insufficiently energetic for New Orleans-style debauchery, I am at least able to manage some holiday-sanctioned gorging. I prefer my gorging be accompanied by something relaxing, like a movie, and in case you feel the same, I offer six suggestions for Mardi Gras pairings of bingeing and entertainment, all of which can be enjoyed without ever having to hoist yourself strenuously upright:
— Showgirls with French Fries and Ketchup
— The Godfather with Cannoli
— Into the Wild with Roots, Moose Meat
— Animal House with Tartare de Cheval
— Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life with Thin Mints
— Flashdance with Lobster
— The Freshman with Komodo Dragon
— Mildred Pierce with Pie
— A Night at the Opera with Eggs
— Cool Hand Luke with Eggs, Hardboiled (50)
— Fatal Attraction with Rabbit Stew
— Lady and the Tramp with Spaghetti and Meatballs
— Pretty Woman with Strawberries and Champagne
— Soylent Green with People
About Alexa Stevenson
