Back when I posted that Oprah’s new channel, the Oprah Winfrey Network, was going to be taking over Discovery Health Channel’s slot in the cable lineup, folks were PISSED. The looming threat of a world without informational programming on the parasitic twins that are probably growing in your ear or the infinite, horrific things that could possibly go wrong with your pregnancy was too much. Discovery Health has, however, been reborn when it was combined with FitTV to create Discovery Fit & Health (or Discovery Filth, for short). That new frankenchannel debuted on February 1.
Discovery Health Channel devotees might feel somewhat victorious to hear that OWN isn’t doing as well as was predicted. During the month of February, only about 135,000 viewers were tuned in at any given time, and only about 45,000 of those viewers were in the 25-to-54-year-old-women demographic that OWN targets. Which means that there are about 90,000 dudes watching OWN, maybe? Interesting. Or 90,000 people who didn’t get the memo about Discovery Health Channel and are growling, “Man, when the FUCK is Maternity Ward going to be on?” Still, that’s 10 percent lower than Discovery Health’s numbers at this time last year.
Oprah and Co. aren’t concerned, however. The channel is still in its infancy and Oprah’s presence won’t be very heavy until The Oprah Winfrey Show ends its run in September. In the meantime, OWN original shows like Our America are gaining a foothold. I might have to tune into this because Lisa Ling is the host and I’ve been mildly obsessed with her since she was on Channel One, a closed-circuit news/current affairs show that played in my high school during homeroom. Ling goes around the country documenting some of the less visible niches of our culture and population, speaking to faith healers and the people who seek their treatment, transgendered people, and sex offenders.
There’s also a Dr. Phil program, in case you cant find a bag of hammers to drop on your foot repeatedly and want to inflict pain and stupidity on yourself. In March, there’s going to be a new show called Addicted to Food, which will undoubtedly be sensationalist and offensive…and irresistible to me.
If that doesn’t boost numbers, then I don’t know. She may have to resort to something drastic, like giving away 25-pound tumors. (“YOU get a 25-pound tumor and YOU get a 25-pound tumor and YOU get a 25-pound tumor!”)
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