I know some of you watch Parenthood, and those who do probably remember the Braverman Thanksgiving. It had all the usual elements of a Holiday Episode on a multigenerational show: kids running hither and yon, teens dealing with teen problems and their parents, parents dealing with their siblings and their children and grown-up shit and their own parents, grandparents passing on traditions and being old. Everyone gathers around the table, and people fight, but hearts are eventually warmed.
At the end of this particular episode, the siblings Braverman gather to wash the dishes while their children are off being children-y. And then someone puts on a song from their youth and they all dance around, laughing. The song? Naughty By Nature’s “O.P.P.”
This scene shocked me to my core. I tried to explain it to my husband—It was just so WEIRD, because *I* knew that song from MY youth! I mean, I’d seen the scene a million times; it’s the Big Chill moment! Only with O.P.P.! The GROWN-UPs were dancing to NAUGHTY BY NATURE!
This is when my husband gently reminded me that I, myself, am now a grown-up. I am a “MOM.” In fact, I am older than Julia Braverman, the youngest of the siblings on Parenthood.
“Oh my god,” I said slowly, my eyes wide. “WE are the grown-ups.” I repeated it, wonderingly, several times.
You might think this would have come to me earlier, say when I gave birth or got married or began itemizing my own income tax deductions. But no. It took Naughty By Nature to really drive it home.
Y’all. WE are the ones in charge. I am not so sure that this is a good idea.
For years, watching television, I identified with the teenaged characters, even when I was much younger than a teen. After all, they were the ones whose lives were interesting. I loved Claire Huxtable, but I wasn’t interested in her Lady Lawyer problems, I was interested in what trouble Denise and Theo had gotten themselves into.
Obviously this changed at some point, but I didn’t really notice when it happened. Much as I adore Amber’s character on Parenthood, I view her as a kid, something I haven’t been in a long time. But the parents on the show—especially Adam and Christina—seem so much more adult than I feel. Adam wears ties! They have a well-stocked linen closet, salad utensils, placemats! Surely I don’t belong in the same category as these people.
When I first started watching Gilmore Girls, I was too old by several years to identify with Rory, exactly, but I identified with her far more than Lorelei. After the Parenthood Thanksgiving episode had ended, I did some thinking and realized that I am now THE EXACT SAME AGE as Lorelei’s character was during the Gilmore Girls’ first season.
In high school, I once watched an episode of My So-Called Life with my mom. My eyes rolled like marbles the whole time, and I remember heaving a great sigh when she said “What’s wrong with Brian Krakow? He seems like a nice guy!”
My mother thought it was possible, when the show ended abruptly, that if it had continued Angela might have chosen Brian. I shook my head at how utterly clueless she was. Sure, Jordan Catalano was dumb as a stone, but…well, there was no point in trying to explain it to her. She wouldn’t understand.
Back then, I HATED Patty, Angela’s mother on the show. She seemed uptight and boring and vaguely pathetic. Now, in the wake of my Parenthood epiphany, I’ve looked back on My So-Called Life and realized that I don’t feel so far from Patty Chase. Sure, I think she overreacted to Angela’s (rather tame) dye-job, but from my current vantage point, I see things mostly from her perspective. Angela’s father, who once seemed charming and fun, unfairly henpecked by his drag of a wife, now seems like a bit of a schmuck—a schmuck who kissed another woman, no less.
I find myself thinking, just as my mother did, that Brian Krakow seems like a nice guy, and that it is the boys you never noticed in high school who often grow up to make the best men. After she’d gone to college and dated plenty of Jordan Catalano manchildren with scruffy beards and Eurorail passes—that is, after she’d grown up herself—I’m pretty sure Angela would have come to agree with me.
I know I’m not the only one who’s had the shock of watching television and realizing you no longer identify with the kids, or are older than half the lead characters. What were those moments for you? What shows or scenes made you realize you had crossed a line and were officially on The Other, Older Side?
About Alexa Stevenson
