Does anyone remember this guy? He’s the gawd-awful devil-douche who went about whoring himself to any and all camera lens he could flash his hairy, ugly mug in front of, in hopes someonewould care. He desperately clung to pseudo, half-assed fame by playing the role of crazy mountain man, declaring love for crystals and refusing to shave his blond chin fluff. He also convinced his wife to mutilate her already gorgeous person, then orchestrated a publicity stunt divorce, simply to stay in the tabloids.
Can you imagine if your daughter brought this guy home?
I’m sure I’m forgetting something, but that’s because I stopped caring long before The Hills was even over. The guy’s an asshole, is the moral of the story.
Being out of the spotlight for so long, Spencer has grown to miss the hateful eyes of his despising public. But we all hate his guts and his face and when he opens his mouth, we all regurgitate stomach bile just a little bit. So what is a man so hated to do to stay in the limelight?
“I’m trying to change my image and make myself more likable,” Spencer says.
Make himself more likable. Um…here’s a thought, and it’s crazy, so just stay with me for a moment. Instead of MAKING yourself more likable, Spence, how’s about BEING more likable? Instead of PRETENDING to not be an asshole, how’s about NOT being an asshole. Whatever. Keep talking, Spencer.
“How do you go from being hated to even a little bit likable? It’s about who you’re around,” Pratt said. “I’ve learned you need to be around likable people to even start to be likable. Who’s the most likable person in America, if not the world? That would be Ryan Seacrest.”
Oh. My. Garsh. RUN, Ryan. RUN. Spencer is on the campaign trail to become Ryan’s intern. He emailed Ryan’s talent booker, asking for a 5-week term, shadowing Ryan and, in turn, Ryan’s likeability will ooze off of Ryan and seap into Spencer by way of osmosis and/or terrible play-acting for the paparazzi. He even called into Ryan’s radio show to make sure Ryan got the email.
RUN, Ryan. RUN.
Before hanging up, Spencer assured Ryan and his listeners that this is real and that he’s committed and “ready to start a hole new leaf.”
But Spencer, you claimed all the other thinly-veiled, weak attempts at legitimate celebrity, as opposed to what you are now, which is some guy America likes to point and laugh at, were also real. BOY WHO CRIED WOLF, SPENCER. Boy who cried wolf. We liked you best when you we forgot what your face looks like.
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