Coldplay fans, rejoice! (and show yourselves, so I can avoid you) Chris Martin and his band of merry men – those second-rate purveyors of warmed-over Britpop from an alternate universe where their real name is Sucky Radiohead – played five new songs from their still-untitled upcoming LP at the Rock am Rim Festival in Nürburgring, Germany.
First off: Nürburgring? Wikipedia tells us that it’s a ring around Nürburg, so that answers that.
Secondly, one of their new songs – in fact, their first single, “Every Teardrop is a Waterfall” – is ripped off from Mystic’s “Ritmo de la Noche.” But no, claims Martin: they paid to lift the melody. Oh, I see. Let’s compare and contrast.
And now here’s Mystic’s “Ritmo de la Noche.”
Well. I’m glad Coldplay payed for that song, because it’s the same fucking tune. Why not just do a cover version and call it even? Because Martin felt the need to bequeath the world with some lyrics about “I got my music on/ I shut the world outside”? But it gets even better, because they didn’t get permission to use “Ritmo”; instead, they credit Peter Allen’s 1976 hit “I Go To Rio.” Listen and see if you can spot the similarity.
To sum up: Martin was “inspired” by Mystic’s Latin-flavoured dance hit, so he bought the spine of the song from whoever owns the rights to a mid-’70s soft rock tune and gave the original artists a songwriting credit. Then he overlaid it with his trademark I-remember-the-90s delivery and called it an original song. From one perspective, Coldplay did the right thing; much art involves creative lifting and repurposing of elements from other works, and Peter Allen got the credit he deserved. From another perspective, I still want to poke my eardrums out with a knitting needle. Given that Coldplay have been accused of ripping off Joe Satriani, Cat Stevens and Dan Gallagher in the past, Martin probably thought it was prudent to own up to the fact that he can’t put together an original song to save his life.
Perhaps with another band this would be okay. But I can’t stand Coldplay and their rock god posturing. Even if Chris Martin floated down from the sky on a teflon cloud and fireproofed my house for free, I’d still complain. I’d also wonder why he was fireproofing houses. What, is he a consultant now?