Let me be the first to say, “What the F-U-C-K in the U.S.A.?”
When news broke in January that John Mellencamp was dating Meg Ryan, I think everyone dismissed it as a fleeting flirtation. A random collision of pop cultural pillars from the days of yore. Well, folks, here’s a ditty ’bout Jack and Ry-an. Rumor has it they’re getting married next month.

3 signs of a mid-life crisis: (1) plastic surgery denials, (2) starring in fantastically awful remake of The Women, and (3) marrying The Coug.
The Farm Aid-ing, chain-smoking, Hoosier-loving Mellencamp, 59, divorced model Elaine Irwin in January 2011, after 18 years of marriage. He started making headlines with the one-time rom-com queen. Ryan, 49, was then spotted sporting a wedding band at a Mellencamp show in February. Rumors of a secret marriage were quickly dismissed as everyone assumed it was not a ring but a string tied around her finger to remind her that she used to be married to timelessly hot Dennis Quaid. Y’know, before she banged the mercurial-but-absurdly-cut Russell Crowe.
But its Mellencamp that’s been the real relationship-hopper, not Meg. If they wed (Ryan’s camp denies the story), she will become the 4th Mrs. (Cougar) Mellencamp. And word has it that Mellencamp’s two teenage sons are none too thrilled with the hasty nuptials. Maybe they Netflix-ed Joe vs. The Volcano?
















