In no particular order. I don’t have time for that shit, and seriously, how can you rank these?
"I am all muscle and defense, baby."
FUCKING SANDCASTLES! They're for pussies.
After punching through a weaker child’s sandcastle, HE THEN ATE IT. Why? Because he’s a bad motherfucker, that’s why.
Fuck, dude! What did you DO?! This guy will kill you and shoot up your blood and brain matter intravenously.
Well, he would. Those nipple-eyes are BLAZING like the Devil’s [nipples].
The feline community is committed to the environment and public transportation.
Mind the gap, please. Mind the gap.
"And Carol was all, 'I don't love you anymore,' and Ambrose was all, 'FROWN' and Carol was all, 'And you are NOT the father' and Ambrose was all 'WHOA DOUBLE FROWN'
Carol is a lying SLUT.
AS HE SHOULD.
But his angry face looks like it could really cook a hamburger just on the intensity alone.
You won't even come close.
And then dad-kitteh says, "WHHHHUUUUUUTTTTTTT????!!!!"
“Well, why didn’t you just answer me the first time, dad?”
SPINNY THINGS FUCKING RAWK.
They just do.
It's funny because you probably can't prove it's not true.
Math, how does it work?
Okay, this one is my favorite. You need to love this one or we can’t be friends. I peed a little during my seal-barking-cry-laughing yesterday. Or I might not have. OR DID I?
You seriously can't touch this.
? “If you can’t groove to this, then you probably are dead. You can’t touch this.” ? DO NOT ATTEMPT.
Backstage at a young Pete Doherty show.
Mom and Gran are cuttin’ a rug, drunk off wine coolers, dad’s doffing his pants, but young Pete plays on. He will later recall this in therapy.
Shark ate the whole pan of cherry Jello-Shots and then ate Nate.
Hey…where’s Nate? GODDAMMIT, SHARK! You have to STOP DOING THIS every time you’re drunk. YOU NEED HELP!
It's pretty fucking meaningful when Yoda says it.
"I don't adhere to your fucking rules. I'M A BIRD, BITCH."
Zack Galifinakis is really taking this beard thing too far.
I just cant…
Jesus ESPECIALLY ain't takin' no shit, playa.
Astronomy, the Bible and Beyonce. Yep.
And try to tell me you’re not already singing this song in your head.
Cats, how do they work?
A frame has already been purchased. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
The next outfit change is from Chippendale Kids.
Myths? Myths be BUSTED, yo.
I'm too sexy for the 17th century.
Right Said Fred’s great-great-great-grandfather.
OKAY, I could go all day. Three more.
Pussy.
The above is dedicated to our very own Charlie Ann (@everymankitchen). I don’t know. He cooks, this is a sandwich, he’s badass. It just seems like something he’d like.
Because sometimes the best you can do is finger guns.
Pew, pew! Pew! Pew, pew! I’M A BAD MOTHERFUCKER!
You know, keep calm and carry on. This is what it means, asshole.
Aaaaand…I’m spent. Actually, I’m not, but I’ve seal-bark laughed and am crying so hard they’re boxing up my things and security is about to escort me out of my office. Smell ya later, nerds! I hope you found these as hilar as I did. I have about 500 more. I may have to do a follow-up.
About Anastacia
