15 Things That Will Probably Last Longer Than Kim Kardashian’s Marriage

08/22/2011 by

kim kardashian ass picture 15 Things That Will Probably Last Longer Than Kim Kardashians Marriage

The wedding of the century weekend nanosecond was Saturday when Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries exchanged some rings, said some nonsense words, and sacrificed a goat. I’m assuming, of course, since my invitation got lost in the mail.

I’m not a cynic when it comes to love and romance. I’m a realist. Here’s my list of 15 things that will probably last longer than Kim Kardashian’s marriage:

  1. A dose of Viagra
  2. Ice T’s reality show Ice Loves Coco
  3. The amount of time it takes you to read this post
  4. The news coverage of the wedding
  5. A fruit fly’s entire lifespan
  6. That urination scene from the first Austin Powers movie
  7. Khloe’s jealousy
  8. Smurfs in theaters
  9. Snooki’s fifteen minutes of fame
  10. The Tea Party
  11. Two and a Half Men, starring Ashton Kutcher
  12. The popularity of planking
  13. Bruce Jenner’s plastic face
  14. Hugh Hefner’s newest marriage
  15. Hugh Hefner

[source]

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About Avitable

Adam Heath Avitable, aka Avitable, is a humorist, nudist, satirist, misandrist, elitist, and cunning linguist who likes to drink martinis with a twist. When he's not terrifying the world with testicular photography over at Avitable.com, he wastes his law degree by running a business, doing stand-up comedy, and offering free mammograms out of the back of a van. An honorary vagina has been bestowed upon him by the Womens of Teh Internet, and not only because he cries at episodes of Glee and gets his eyebrows waxed monthly.


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Filed Under: Featured Story, Kardashiana, News Tagged With: Celebrity Weddings, Humor, kim kardashian, Kris Humphries, Marriage, Wedding
  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_VTU3OQT3F66BKES4N2P4RKUSU4 Rebecca K.

    When Hugh marries Holly, that will be the wedding of the century!!!

    • http://www.avitable.com Avitable

      Or, more like the wedding to a centurion!  

  • Anonymous

    Why would Khloe be jealous?  She has the way more awesome husband.

    • http://www.avitable.com Avitable

      I don’t know – you know more than I do about them just from that statement.  Maybe because Kim’s the more famous one?

    • Anonymous

      Not that I watch Khloe and Lamar, but I adore Lamar.

  • Jesse G

    Um….Why do we care?  These idiots wouldn’t be in the news if we as a country would just stop caring about idiots.