You know you’re an alcoholic when you consider the garnish on your drink your meal. I mean, when you think about it, a Bloody Mary is almost a salad! And I’m pretty sure that I could survive on the cherries in the Antica Manhattans at Square 1682 in Philadelphia.
For some mixologists, the next logical progression from food as a garnish on drinks is to make food the centerpiece or inspiration for a drink. Hence, the existence of the Grilled Cheese Martini at Beecher’s in Seattle and New York City. They’re not even the first ones to attempt this WTFtail, which consists of grilled-cheese-sandwich-infused vodka (read: “I dropped my lunch in my drink when I passed out and when I came to a few hours later I just drank the whole thing anyway,”) shaken with fresh tomatoes, muddled basil, and tomato juice. It sounds kind of gross at first, but the more I think about it, the more it sounds like kind of a good idea.
Surely, other gastronomic -tinis can’t be too far off. So let’s compile our wish list. They don’t have to be necessarily good ideas, just stuff that we’re curious enough to try. Here are my offerings. Let’s hope someone who knows what they’re doing can make these happen.
Spiked Gazpacho Punch
Actually, as soon as I typed that out, I thought, “That’s a damn good idea.” I’m imagining pureed gazpacho with the freshest of produce mixed with a summery booze that complements the spicy soup. Perhaps tequila? Ladle it into cups lined with lettuce OR a tortilla shell that can stay together long enough for you to drink it and slurp away.
Chana Masala-tini
I love love LOVE Indian food. I love the spices and creamier dishes and all of the interesting and filling ways that the cuisine favors vegetables. One of my favorite dishes to whip together for my family is Chana Masala, which is a simple, spicy chickpea dish served over rice. I’m imagining vodka infused with curry or garam masala and mixed with a chick pea, ginger, and tomato puree. THEN lining the the rim of the glass with the juice of a lime wedge and sticking it in some sticky rice. With every sip, you get a bite of rice and the taste of the chana masala.
Peach Cobbler Drunkshake
I don’t know what would be best for this, but I’m thinking perhaps a peach and cinnamon booze (Peach Schnapps and Goldschlager? You know, if you want to throw up and/or get arrested?) blended with vanilla ice cream. Have bail money ready.
Enchiladaritas
Here is where I might start to get kind of gross. I recently made enchiladas that were by far the best I’ve ever made, so I’ve had them on the brain. If I could get drunk on enchiladas, I would totally sidle up to a bar to do so. Here’s what I’ve come up with so far: tequila infused with black beans, cheese, cumin, and chile powder. Served with a cheddar and jalapeno garnish. Eh?
Meat Loaf Mistake
And here’s where I just get silly. I love meat loaf. It’s one of my comfort foods. But I never get to make it because my husband hates it. I’ve been trying to come up with some clever cocktail version of it but everything just sounds gross. My solution: dump meat loaf, mashed potatoes, green beans, and whiskey in a blender. Serve in a pint glass with a couple strips of bacon. Say, “Fuck it,” and drink the whole thing in one gulp. Ketchup chaser. Come on. Quit being a pussy.
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