Sometimes I just don’t understand the world, Internet.
This isn’t helping.
James Franco—who you may know as the stoner guy from Freaks & Geeks, or the stoner guy from Pineapple Express, or the arm-cutting-offy guy from 127 Hours—is slated to teach a course at New York University in the fall. Franco will be reportedly teaching film students the finer points of turning poetry into film, which…OK. Maybe this will make more sense if I…
Much better.
Franco, who has attended Columbia and Yale and graduated from UCLA, will be giving his charges the task of adapting a Louise Gluck poem to film, but I venture to guess that the bulk of in-class work will be dedicated to ogling/swooning over/eating up every word spoken by/lodging oneself up the ass of/imagining sex with James Franco.
Oh, come on. Like you were any more productive than that in college anyway.
Maybe I’m being a little to hard on Franco by doubting that he’s capable of being an NYU-caliber professor, but…come on. He may have attended lots of ivy league schools, but we all know movie stars have the resources and—more importantly—the connections to make that shit happen. I have a feeling Franco’s future students might learn a lot more from a less glamorous teacher, but hey, they probably wouldn’t want to fuck that person as much, and that’s what really matters in mainstream film anyway, right?
Not that I’m complaining.



















