So here’s an interesting newsy tidbit, Jennifer Lopez…wait.
Did you read the post title?
Then. Okay. You already know what this post is mostly about. J.Lo is reportedly “close” to sealing a deal for one more season as an American Idol judge. For. Twenty. Millllllllion. Dollars.
Leaked details about her payday, however, aren’t sitting well with the other judges.
Steven Tyler originally signed a two-year contract for roughly $10 million a season, and is now asking for more money. For the record, this screencap is what you get when you search for “Steven Tyler American Idol.” And you get it about 17 times in the first page of results. I think this is somehow relevant to the facts of this story.
Randy Jackson has also already committed to another season, and is all “no comment, dawgs” to the media but you know he’s all, “this is some straight-up pitchy bullshit” and those two imaginary quotes are pretty much the sum of my knowledge about Randy Jackson. He says “pitchy” and “dawg” a lot! I mean, he did about five seasons ago, which was the last time I watched AI. FINGER ON THE PULSE, YOU GUYS.
Simon is no longer on the show, and wants me to leave him out of this, which I will. After posting that photo of him.
Paula Abdul says J.Lo is a beautiful artistic flower with a musical soul she can feel in a deeply spiritual way and honestly she could just get up on that stage and bite her fucking bitch face off, $20 million MY ASS.
*quiet, murderous seething*
And I say, I do not care in the slightest, because I’ll be watching The Voice instead.