Perfect Johnny Depp Apologizes For Uncharacteristically Imperfect Comments


Johnny Depp done fucked up, Internet.

Johnny Depp 600x450 Perfect Johnny Depp Apologizes For Uncharacteristically Imperfect Comments

But…he’s so pretty! Don’t we let the pretty people do anything they want?!

Yesterday, Vanity Fair released a small snippet of its soon-to-be-printed Johnny Depp cover story to create some buzz, and it became immediately apparent that someone at Vanity Fair either 1) hates Johnny Depp, or 2) is just really, really good at his or her job. Behold the quote below, which the usually genteel Depp offered up when asked how he feels during photo shoots:

“Well, you just feel like you’re being raped somehow. Raped … It feels like a kind of weird — just weird, man.”

JOHNNY.

NO.

YOU HUSTLE THAT PERFECT ASS BACK TO YOUR ROOM, MISTER, UNTIL YOU’RE READY TO APOLOGIZE.

saw johnny depp Perfect Johnny Depp Apologizes For Uncharacteristically Imperfect Comments

OK, you can come out of your room now, you hot little weirdo.

Because he is hot, nice, hot, and seems like a generally decent (and hot) person, Johnny immediately issued an apology for his boneheaded comments:

“I am truly sorry for offending anyone in any way. I never meant to. It was a poor choice of words on my part in an effort to explain a feeling. I understand there is no comparison and I am very regretful. In an effort to correct my lack of judgment, please accept my heartfelt apology.”

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(OK, let’s all pretend to be angry for a little bit longer before we accept his apology.)

I sometimes really wonder what they give these celebrities during magazine interviews to make them blurt out such stupid shit, because Johnny Depp is not generally the kind of (smoking ass hot) person to go around saying dumb crap like this. He’s a family man who is very active in children’s charities, and seems to keep his nose out of trouble. I’m willing to give you the benefit of the doubt here, Johnny, but watch your step. Even your special brand of good looks won’t fix every moronic quote.

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(They won’t, right?)

(No, no — of course they won’t.)

(Right?)

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About Jive Turkey

Jive Turkey lives in Pittsburgh and spends her time desperately clinging to the hope that someday the cast of Deadwood will destroy the cast of Glee.



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  • Kirsty Snaith

    What’s that…? You were saying…? Sorry. I seem to have got distracted. Or something. *fanning myself”*
    Is it me, or is it damn HOT in here, all of a sudden?
    But yeah, stupid thing to say. I’m a forgiving type, though (for him, anyway).
    *swoon*

  • http://twitter.com/MarinkaNYC MarinkaNYC

    Please. No one gets Vanity Fair for the articles.

  • Anonymous

    Well, after he signed the petition to get Roman Polansky released I lost a lot of respect. This was just a cherry on top. He gets small kudos for a real apology, but he won’t ever be at the top of my list again.

    • Anonymous

      I KNOW. Sad face.

  • http://www.sweetney.com Sweetney

    Hot. AND he knows how to *actually apologize*, not fake, “I’m sorry  you were so offended by the stupid shit I said”-type apologize. CELEBRITIES TAKE NOTE.

  • http://twitter.com/ryenerman rynerman

    Well at least it was a real apology not like one of those bullshit ones like “I’m sorry your feelings are hurt.”  Still, I also have trouble getting past the signing of the release Roman Polansky petition.  The hotness will only go so far.

  • http://twitter.com/mollygmartin Molly Martin

    Johnny, stop making me think about you…I prefer to just look at you.