This has been an odd week; first, my girl Nicole Richie is suddenly among the venerable list of women celebrities with a nice, expensive rack, and now, a celebrity-on-celebrity Burn Notice. Mariah Carey did something that makes me feel badly for wanting to light her on fire for the last decade or so.
Well. I won’t get crazy. I’m not going to feel badly about all of that, because it was more than justified, but she recently made a snarky crack against a Kardashian and I might hesitate in the future to engage in Mariah Bashing. I’ll probably go ahead and do it — she’s bound to be annoying again, and soon — but this time, for once, I’ll pause. If it’s not obvious, I hate the Kardashians with the white-hot intensity of a thousand burning suns in the darkest, burniest depths of the inferno(es) of Hell. Which is to say, “I am not fond of the Kardashians.”
In a recent interview for her new gig as Jenny Craig spokeswoman (SUCK IT, KIRSTIE!), Mariah, discussed with the audience her marriage to Nick Cannon, her huz and baby daddy to six-month-old twins Moroccan and Monroe. (Moroccan…I still can’t even.) ”I’m a real person, I’m not going to put on a fake face for Hollywood,” Carey, 42, said.
And suddenly, rainbows and angels:
“Sometimes we make each other mad, and that’s why we aren’t divorced after four months,” she cracked, as the audience, according to Us Weekly, “audibly gasped.”
“… I’m just saying.” [Emphasis added. Enthusiastically.]
She was, of course, referencing Kim Kardashian, 31, who recently “filed for divorce” October 31 after just 72 days of her committed, sacred marriage to whatever his name is, and that makes me punch my tiny Kristen Wiig doll-fists in the air with great excitement and joy.
I love it when celebrities bust on each other. Especially when it’s a celebrity busting on a wanna-be celebrity nobody who needs to please go away and, seriously, STFU.
Mariah made my morning. Yep, I am that terrible of a person. Loud and proud, motherintercoursers.