
You know how sometimes you’re just walking down the street, minding your own business? And then you look up and there’s a Party Bus! Just waiting: doors open, poles inside gleaming, beckoning you in, begging you to sit down and party awhile? And then you think to yourself, “Don’t mind if I do!” But the bus driver is all like, “You can’t get on this party bus!” And then you punch her in the vagina?

Matthew Fox does, ALLEGEDLY. In August 2011, he was arrested after a bus driver accused him of drunkenly trying to stow away on her party bus and then punching her in the breasts and vagina when she tried to stop him. She got one solid punch to his face before he was cuffed and taken down to the police station.
Well! Now Matthew Fox is countersuing Heather Boarmann, the Party Bus driver, asking for “unspecified damages” because apparently nobody in Hollywood wants to hire you after you’ve been labeled a Vagina Puncher. He’s calling her a liar, and he is also asserting that she started it. Which, apparently matters. Somehow.
Maybe someone should just tell them both what I tell my kids, “It doesn’t matter WHO started it; we do NOT EVER hit people’s Bathing Suit Parts. Now go play in your rooms, because Mama has a lot of work to do.”
















