During the late 19th century, America was an orgy of unhindered growth and unprecedented productivity. Referred to by historians as urbanization and industrialization, the seedy reality behind this prosperity was brought to the public’s attention when Upton Sinclair published The Jungle. Painting an uncensored picture of the meat industry, The Jungle paved the way for major reforms in both product and workplace safety…
Can we just fast forward to the money shot?
They hated Free Willy, too
The Los Angeles City Council voted 11-1 yesterday to tentatively approve an ordinance that will require the use of condoms in all adult film shoots in Los Angeles. In addition to effectively taking the word shoot out of the adult entertainment lexicon, this decision was hailed by AIDS Healthcare Foundation President Michael Weinstein as a “huge leap forward.”
I have a feeling that historians won’t be referring to today’s condom decision as the second coming of reforms in the meat industry.
Was this about workplace safety? Perhaps. Weinstein lauded the decision to enforce condoms as one that will help to make “Los Angeles a safe place to make adult films.” A one-bedroom apartment is a safe place to make adult films. A mattress without exposed springs will pretty much get OSHA off your back in a porn shoot. Maybe we should consider this a victory for the hordes of migrant workers enduring long bukkake shifts just to put a meal on the table? Because if they’re talking about AIDS, there’s only been one documented case of HIV transmission in the past five years (according to the porn industry’s trade association, The Free Speech Coalition). Five years of PORN. Four porn movies were produced in the time it took me to hit the caps lock key and type P-O-R-N. Oh, and adult entertainers get to have lots and lots of sex for lots and lots of money. With that kind of a payoff, I’d venture to say that most pornfessionals would still do it, even if one actor were chosen weekly at random and fed to a lion.
Or did the Los Angeles City Council look at this as a way to spread awareness about safer sexual practices? Because we all know that the vast majority of people who watch porn simply watch it to take a break from all the awesome sex they’re having with so many people.
It's not delivery, it's da porno
Yesterday’s decision simply sets a dangerous precedent: porn is going to suck from now on. I can buy that a pizza delivery boy might run into three Catholic schoolgirls who all happen to be craving pepperoni at the same time and are willing to share, but if delivery boy stops to open up a condom and carefully unroll it like they taught you in health class, the fantasy dies. The A-Team never heeded a stop sign while giving chase. Sheldon shouldn’t have to either.
I bet she's got a jungle that needs regulating.
The only good thing to come of this is the fact that porn as we know it is now a historical artifact. Which means I can go buy the Da Vinci Load. In the name of culture.
About Jim Lin
