Russell Brand filed for divorce from Katy Perry less than one month ago. Whereas for most of use mere mortals, both parties would still be in the “watching Intervention marathons in stained sweats and pleather jeggings” phase, Brand is doing just fine thankyouverymuch. In fact, if you believe today’s US Weekly (and, since my Magic 8 Ball is in the shop, I do), Brand is already dating around, trash-talking his ex to anyone who’ll listen. He’s even rumored to have invited one of his new gal pals to move in with him after the divorce is final.
Yes, move in with someone ASAP. What could go wrong? (Photo By: Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic.com)
The news that Brand has moved on to the nth degree comes just a week after talk swirled that he plans to dish on his 14-month marriage in a new memoir. Since the man’s got a rapier wit and one bestseller under his teeny-tiny-skinny belt, you can bet his memoir will succeed. Since the man’s been trash-talking his ex, you can also bet that Katy Perry is a little worried.
Her hair changes colors when she's nervous, just like my SeaWee dolls.
Oh and:
SQUEEEEEEEE! Sea Wee Dolls!
But I digress…
I think Russell Brand is hysterically funny. Judging from My Booky-Wook I also think he’s whip-smart. I find Katy Perry’s songs entertaining and she is just lovely. But in a public battle of wits? I’m terrified for Perry and of Brand. Not that their marriage or post-marriage is any of my business, but I wish they’d just both disappear for awhile for their own sake. Or pull a Seal and go on Ellen two days later, say nice things, and sing “Let’s Stay Together.”
Awwwwwwwwwwwkwaaaaaaaaaaaaaard.
I mean, Katy, you married a recovering addict whose primary drug was women. And, Russell, you married someone not just younger but in a totally different phase of her life. And born of evangelical Christians. You two knew this wasn’t going to be a cake walk.
Or a cupcake rack.
So getting over this probably shouldn’t be easy-peasy and super-speedy either. Why not take your time? Date if you want and if you think you’re ready but keep your big yaps shut. Be nice to each other–even if only on the outside–or you’ll only be screwing yourselves in the long run. Why do I feel like this has been a dry-run for the speech I will someday give my little girl?
But maybe I’m applying Real World Logic to Celebrity Fantasy Land Lives. Can you imagine if you had a worldwide audience of snarky know-nothing bloggers (ahem) and random people? A vast sea of people in front of whom you could really stick it to your ex? Either by looking lovely, dating 100 people, or saying nasty things? Wouldn’t it be tempting? And wouldn’t you be loathe to heed the advice of anyone who tells you that you might regret it, especially when it would feel. SO. GOOD.
You tell me, MamaPoppers: should celebs take it slow after a break-up like the rest of us or are the rules just, simply, too different?
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