Just in case you were feeling good about that six dollars in coupons you saved at the grocery store this weekend, allow me to crap all over your mood by sharing that Paris Hilton won $30,000 while gambling in Vegas last weekend. The major haul came at the blackjack tables of the Wynn Las Vegas, where Paris was celebrating her 31st birthday. The march of time may stop for no one, but it seems that the universe is hell-bent on piling cash winnings upon an already wealthy heiress who has proven herself to be little more than a professional dumbass.
NEVERMIND.
I’d like to think that Paris — who has been busy promoting her new line of sunglasses that the world desperately needs — will throw some of that money to charity, but given the Hilton family history of epic dickholery, I’m not holding my breath. How in the world did Richard & Kathy Hilton manage to raise so many total douchenozzles? Someone please advise, so I can do the complete opposite with my own kid.
I guess I’m mostly just irritated to be reading Paris’s name in the headlines again, after she had blessedly faded away for a spell. How to cleanse the palate?
Ahhh. Perfect.
About Jive Turkey
