We’re getting ready to tackle a couple big projects around the house, and by “getting ready” I mean “watching a lot of home improvement shows on TV while eating salty snacks.” I’m not sure how helpful this has been, since it mostly just makes me angry to discover that everything I like costs a million dollars and that people consider a $40,000 kitchen renovation to be a “budget” makeover.
But I have also learned that Vanilla Ice and Bronson Pinchot have home improvement shows on the DIY Network. I feel like somebody should have alerted me to this sooner. Especially because Vanilla Ice’s show is actually already airing its SECOND SEASON, which means this absurdly glorious thing has been out there, all this time, and I probably never would have known about it unless my one kitchen cabinet hadn’t fallen off its hinge and those rust spots hadn’t appeared in the bathtub. IT’S LIKE IT’S FATE OR SOMETHING.
About The Vanilla Ice Project:
Best known for his ’90s music, pop icon Vanilla Ice also brings more than 15 years of home improvement experience to this 7,000-square-foot Palm Beach mansion. In each episode of DIY Network’s The Vanilla Ice Project, Vanilla Ice (aka Robert Van Winkle) and his crew of contractors get down to business and renovate a different room of the home. He’ll pound nails and call the shots in this room-by-room renovation.
POUND THOSE NAILS, VANILLA. POUND THEM HARD.
About The Bronson Pinchot Project (such creative naming there, DIY!):
Hollywood’s favorite character actor, Bronson Pinchot (Perfect Strangers, Beverly Hills Cop), has a secret life. He’s been quietly buying neglected old homes and buildings and restoring them into eye-catching masterpieces. Each episode of The Bronson Pinchot Project finds Bronson and his crew of local contractors renovating another room at one of his properties in Harford, PA. Bronson Pinchot is a hands-on renovator with the skills of a contractor and the eye of a top designer. Rural Harford becomes the backdrop for a unique mix of reality TV and home improvement.
A secret life of quietly buying real estate! It’s like the answer to the best blind item that never existed.
Also available on DIY is The Adam Carolla Project, but I can’t stand that dude so whatever. I’ll stick with Robert Van Winkle and Bronson in between the 42 episodes of I Hate My Kitchen and Bath Crashers that my DVR has probably recorded in the past 24 hours.