So Your Son is Going to Prom With a Porn Star…

03/22/2012 11:00 am by

If you’ve been on the Internet in the past day or so, chances are you’ve heard the name Mike Stone.

keith stone2 So Your Son is Going to Prom With a Porn Star...I can almost smell him…

No that’s Keith Stone, alcohol mascot and lousy beer enthusiast.  This is Mike Stone:

article 2118082 1243E3D0000005DC 559 468x384 So Your Son is Going to Prom With a Porn Star...On his angry couch.

Mike Stone is the 18-year-old high school student from Minnesota who has just become all kinds of Internet-famous after launching his Twitter campaign to get a porn star to go with him to his senior prom.  Sure, among the SIX HUNDRED TWEETS he sent out, he did include the occasional Kardashian and WWE starlet, but on the whole…

1772176 o So Your Son is Going to Prom With a Porn Star...

…Mike was mainly interested in heading to prom with a porn star.  It’s a wonder Mike didn’t get 600 enthusiastic “yes” replies since he’s so undeniably smooth:

Cherie De Ville So Your Son is Going to Prom With a Porn Star...I need 75 showers right now…

Why did he feel the need to extend his dating pool to that of the pornographic actors’ guild?  Well, according to Stone, all of the girls he wanted to ask already had dates.  As we can clearly see, he had little choice.  So, as is the norm when it comes to weird things on the Internet, Mike Stone’s number of Twitter followers skyrocketed and out of the two yeses that Mike got from porn stars, it looks like he’s settling on Megan Piper.  Piper, an adult entertainer, admits that she never got to go to her prom and has decided to take Mike up on his offer, provided he can pay for her airfare.  I’m trying to find a picture of Megan Piper to show you, but even her Twitter profile pic is completely NSFW.  Here’s one picture of Megan Piper that I’ve helpfully censored for your enjoyment…

MeganPiper So Your Son is Going to Prom With a Porn Star...There are no safe pictures online of this woman.

After the glorious acceptance of his offer, I believe Stone was able to raise the money for Piper’s airfare in about 2.8 seconds.  Dreams really do come true.  Now, the whole magical evening is currently in peril, because Stone’s school’s principal is currently alerting the media that any porn star who tries to enter the “Enchantment Under the Frozen Pond” Dance will be turned away.  So, right now we’re not sure if Mike Stone will be able to escort Megan Piper to his prom, but we’re sure the Internet is working furiously with legal experts to try and make it happen.

carrie spacekkatt So Your Son is Going to Prom With a Porn Star...Prom is a magic time where nothing could possibly EVER go wrong.

Now, there was a time in my life where all I would want to do is get in the line that’s dedicated to giving this kid high fives.  Mike Stone is the hero of high school lads the world over.  He’s got a date to his prom and it’s with a girl that has volumes of photographic evidence that she might possibly be easy.  Mike Stone, show us the way!

 

Haters gonna hate.

But that was then…before I was the father of a 4-month-old son.  According to all of the reports, Mike Stone’s parents had no idea that their son was soliciting porno actresses for prom dates.  Way to go, Mike.  Way to give us all another reason we should be spying on our teenagers’ social media communications.  A revelation like this would be a lot for any parent to digest.  ”My boy!  He enjoys adult entertainment!  He has a Twitter!  Is this person coming to our house?  Do I need to put down a tarp?  Should I be impressed?  I should probably keep this from my wife.  Do I punish him?  WHAT DO I DO?!”

1238408638 superman drinking So Your Son is Going to Prom With a Porn Star...This is my gut instinct…including the costume.

There’s a definite information gap when it comes to data on this subject.  So, in the interest of general preparedness and creating a helpful Google search result for “Son Dating Porn Star,” I now present a list of dos and don’ts when your son is going to the prom with an adult film actress!  Note: for the sake of humor, this list takes into account that the proposed prom date is about to actually happen and that you haven’t locked your son in the basement until he’s 42.

DO tell your son about the importance of acting like a gentleman when on a date with a lady.

DON’T encourage him to get a corsage that has to be pinned on in the chest area.

DO remind your son that, without a sizable amount of money, this woman will not be doing anything that he may have seen her perform on film.

DON’T lend your son any money.

DO make yourself familiar with this woman and her intentions.

DON’T let your wife know that you already knew who the actress was without any research required.

DO enforce a strict curfew.

DON’T ask for autographs.

DO tell your son about the birds and the bees if you haven’t already, and about the importance of always being smart and safe.

DON’T site any film that his date may have appeared in as an example in your talk.

stock footage a father talking about sports to his young son who is gently tossing a baseball into his glove So Your Son is Going to Prom With a Porn Star...I know she may have done that in Debbie Does Monte Carlo, but that’s not something you’re emotionally prepared for in real life, son.

So what do you think, stars and starlets?  Would you ever in a million years let your son date a porn star after he personally asked her out to his prom?  Would the fact that he’s become a viral (no pun intended) sensation influence your decision to let the date happen?  Post your thoughts in the sexy prom that is our comment section below.

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About Joe Lyons

Joe Lyons, aka SweetMonkeyCreek, likes to write funny things from his compound in Pittsburgh, PA. When he's not writing stories, plays, or founding secret societies, Joe works tirelessly on his weather machine, which he promises is not for world domination...even though there is an alarming amount of evidence indicating that it is.

Filed Under: Family and Parenting, Internet, Ladies, PLEASE, Movies, Naked Celebrities, Parenthood, Relationships and Sex, Teh Internets, WTF? Tagged With: , , , ,


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  • http://twitter.com/verybloggybeth Beth Wankel

    He thinks he’s too cool for school right now, but he’s going to regret this. Like, when his teen daughter asks to see his prom pictures. Youth truly is wasted on the young.

    • http://www.fictionaut.com/users/joe-lyons SweetMonkeyCreek

      Not to mention the fact that he’s probably still going to be washing body glitter off of himself until he’s well into his 30′s…

  • http://thecheekofgod.wordpress.com/ Brian

    Hmm . . . This is a toughy.  Would anyone have the courage to put the brakes on this thing?  A parent?  A friend?  The principal is just making it worse.  Hmm.  As this is the first I’ve heard of this, I am wanting more details. 

    Everyone gets their fifteen minutes, right?

    • http://www.fictionaut.com/users/joe-lyons SweetMonkeyCreek

      Yeah, there’s definitely a risk of making it worse, by already publicly forbidding the date to happen as opposed to just trying to keep it as quiet and controlled as possible.

  • Jenny Meade

    This is an old, pre-internet problem with boys left to their own devices under little to no parental guidance. It’s just the internet made it easier to find more nationally known trashy women. And now I can’t wipe this song out of my brain: “Son, that’s a cocktail waitress in a Dolly Parton wig!” I know it dad, ain’t she cool? That’s the kind I like! Ugh.

    • http://www.fictionaut.com/users/joe-lyons SweetMonkeyCreek

      Ack!  Now it’s stuck in my head!!!

      Yeah, I think we’d all already know how to best handle this situation if the Internet had been around a lot longer.  Lord knows I probably would have petitioned Lynda Carter to go to my prom or something…

  • WellReadWife

    I would not allow it if he were my son if there were any way I could do so. He’s 18, so I think his parent’s probably can’t ground him.  However, I feel allowing it would encourage my son to disrespect women/ view women as objects, and that kind of behavior shapes the psyches of men long after their teen years are gone. I say this because this kid targeted 600 mostly porn stars. He didn’t do it because he thinks they’re “nice ladies.” I’m not a prude. I don’t think people shouldn’t watch porn or anything like that. But targeting 600 different women has the feel of “any warm body will do.” It is not only super creepy, but it is sad.

    • http://www.fictionaut.com/users/joe-lyons SweetMonkeyCreek

      Excellent point.  If it had been just 1 porn star that he had asked to his prom it would certainly be a little more…well…”cute” for lack of a better and far more descriptive term.

      But 600 tweets means you just want to see some lady’s boobies.

      • WellReadWife

        Yeah, I agree.:)

      • MollyGMartin

        Yeah, it loses all charm after 49.

        • MollyGMartin

          Tweets…not years.  He should def take a 49-year-old porn star to prom.

  • JiveTurkeyJones

    To me, it’s all about intent. If this kid was taking a porn star to prom as a sort of massive FUCK ESTABLISHMENT/doin’ it all for the LULZ kind of thing, I think I might actually consider it. But it seems like poor Mike really wants to just have an awesome prom with a lady who’s good at Doing It, and Mike, no. Prom is lame. Even porn stars can’t make it better. Just hang tight and hold on for the better times ahead in college.

    • http://www.fictionaut.com/users/joe-lyons SweetMonkeyCreek

      Yeah, I don’t think Mike has any sort of higher message about his actions beyond “porn = thing I enjoy the most”.

  • jenny santiago

    meh. my son is almost 13. though im not a porn watcher, myself, i would prolly not make attempts to prevent him from taking a porn star to prom. this will be a life lesson for this kid in many ways…

    1. how to handle resistance from authority, and what his ‘rights’ are concerning bringing a date to prom.
    2. discrimination isnt just a race/wealth issue. he will learn about how a profession can encourage discrimination.
    3. he will learn how a judgement call can impact his future, in ways that arent immediately obvious.

    there are other lessons he may learn from this, but i really just wanna go eat some Trix, and i dont wanna type anymore….

    • http://www.fictionaut.com/users/joe-lyons SweetMonkeyCreek

      You are very wise, Jenny Santiago.  Enjoy your Trix.

  • http://crabbyappleseed.blogspot.com/ crabby appleseed

    I don’t know, but the next time someone laughs and tells me I’m in for it when my two girls are teenagers at the same time, I’m going to tell them to google Mike Stone and get back to me on that.

    • http://www.fictionaut.com/users/joe-lyons SweetMonkeyCreek

      Haha!  So true!  You now have ammo against the people who think their sons will never cause them any teenage sex-based grief…

  • http://www.sweetney.com Sweetney

    “Do I need to put down a tarp?” Now that’s planning ahead, Mom and Dad!

  • Tyskkvinna

    I feel like he needs a +5 for persistence, +10 for creativity, +5 for standing up to authority and +50 for learning about discrimination, opinions, judgement and social guidelines.

    I would likely consider it, actually.

    I, uh, have never heard of this woman but I wonder how old she really is? My school had a rule about the upper limit a date could be at the prom. If she’s under it, I can’t imagine they’d have a leg to stand on. I mean, theoretically, some (18 year old) senior that actually attends the high school could be moonlighting in hardcore in between study sessions and I can’t see it being acceptable to not let her attend, so why this girl?

    • http://www.fictionaut.com/users/joe-lyons SweetMonkeyCreek

      I believe that, after some awkward research, she is about 19 to 20 years old.

      I mean, in theory, after all is said and done, they should let her through the door if she shows up. It’s not like she’s going be performing…theatrically…at the prom so they shouldn’t bar her just because of what she does for a paycheck…

  • SuzyQuzey

    I wish I had thought of this when I needed a prom date! Of course, that was back in the dinosaur years before the internets.

  • https://profiles.google.com/109401340914414371809 jamie

    if this kid is going to prom, he’s not far from 18.  i think one way parents can help their kids become ready to be entrusted with making their own decisions is to let them make certain mistakes, and then when they’ve learned the implications, you can also help break their fall.  plus, who says this is a mistake?  there was certainly a day and age when this following you around would be truly devastating.  i’m not sure that it matters as much to people anymore, especially because he can spin it in many ways that will make him appear intellectual, and not just youthful and full of hormones.  what his date does for a living, assuming what she does is legal, should certainly not have any bearing on the school’s entrance policy for dates to the prom.  and anyhow, just because her line of work is unsavory to some of us, so are salespeople, politicians, bankers, etc., all the time.

    i think that it’s reasonable to have rules and limitations with your kids, no doubt.  but if she’s not there to stir up trouble, and she’s not wearing skimpy clothing that would be in poor taste, what’s the big deal?  i mean, you can probably trust this girl to be somewhat more responsible than one still in high school, and since she’s not young and desperate, what are the chances she really wants to hook up with your high-school son, especially if he’s already not having a lot of luck with the ladies?  if they *did* hook up, she’s likely to be way more informed about safe sex than a high-school girl, and might teach him something.

    and 3 more things:
    (1) if you think your 17-year old son isn’t looking at porn on the internet you’re not living in reality
    (2) if you cut short his little hurrah of internet fame and a surprising success in his endeavor, he will be resentful, and he’ll rebel shortly thereafter when he’s of legal age.
    (3) you’ve already parented your kid for 17 years.  if you couldn’t turn them into decent human beings in 17 years, you can’t expect that you’ll finally do it in another 1 or 2.