So you may have heard that Lindsay Lohan finally snagged herself a job. An acting job. Something vaguely close to her chosen profession, instead of all the moonlighting as a professional trainwreck she’s been doing for…um…a lot of years, now. DON’T MAKE ME DO MATH.
But anyway! Lindsay Lohan has been cast as Liz Taylor in a Lifetime movie. And yes, if computers checked for logic or general WTF-ness, that sentence would be a giant mess of red squiggly underlines. But it is true.
Rosie O’Donnell, for one, is not having this. AT ALL. She went OFF on Lindsay and the casting choice yesterday, on some morning TV show, basically turning into Lindsay’s mom. I mean, if Lindsay’s mom was not Dina Lohan and was instead one of those moms who goes on TV and says mean things about you. So…Rosie is like Michael Lohan, then.
“I feel very sorry for her,” said O’Donnell. “I think she needs a lot of help. She needs a lot of time away.”
But when asked by Matt Lauer whether it’s a “good idea” for LiLo to do this movie, which chronicles the Cleopatra star’s love affair with husband Richard Burton, Rosie was adamantly against it.
“No. Because she’s had a lot of trouble doing every single movie, including [Saturday Night Live]. She was out and not at rehearsal and I think she’s not in a place to work.”
When fellow panelist Donny Deutch chimed in with a thumbs-up, calling Lindsay “this generation’s Elizabeth Taylor,” O’Donnell didn’t hold back.
“You’re out of your mind!” she replied. “You’re a crackhead…The last thing she did good she was 16!”
The former Queen of Nice elaborated further, “I don’t think she’s right for the role, and I don’t think she’s capable at this point of doing what’s needed to portray that character. I think the interest level in her has waned significantly.”
Not that I necessarily disagree with some of those points, but yikes. I had no idea Rosie felt this passionately about Lindsay Lohan (or had inside information about the comings and goings of SNL rehearsals). Quick, somebody get her opinion on the Kardashians, STAT.
And then — AND THEN! — the producer for the Lifetime movie went on E! to talk about all the precautions the production is taking in light of the “risky” casting choice, basically admitting that they know there’s a high likelihood of issues with Lohan.
“Lindsay Lohan may be the most insured actress that ever walked on a soundstage, for this movie,” producer Larry Thompson tells E! “We’ve tried to anticipate a lot of things. We hope none of them happen.” Thompson says that Lohan’s contract included “three pages of what-ifs,” though he allowed that the production moved from Canada to Los Angeles, just in case a Lohantervention should prove necessary. “We thought we’d maybe minimize some risk by shooting here in LA,” he said, adding candidly, “We have the illusion that maybe we can control the situation a bit better … Now if I learn to regret it, sitting here today I think it is still — for the movie— a great risk to run.”
They moved production from Canada to Los Angeles to minimize any Lohan-related risk? Bwuh?
So what does everyone here think, honestly? Jokes and snark and SHE’S NO LIZ TAYLOR!!1! aside. Will Lindsay mess this up? Will she surprise us all by being genuinely amazing? Or will she be merely perfunctorily capable but ultimately forgettable? Can you believe we’re all wasting this much headspace on a made-for-TV Lifetime movie that ISN’T something awesome like Mother May I Sleep With Danger or Death of a Cheerleader? And why wasn’t Tori Spelling considered for this role? Tori Spelling should really be in every Lifetime movie, if you ask me.