WARNING: MASSIVE HEADDESKING AHEAD. You may want to grab a throw pillow and toss it on your keyboard before you read any further.
So. People on Twitter are idiots, right? I mean, scientifically speaking. They throw tantrums about not getting iPads and iPhones and invite Chris Brown to beat them up “anytime” (boom chicka facepalm). So it’s not surprising that Twitter has been a steady source of idiocy about The Hunger Games as well. Yes, Virginia, there are black people in Panem. And good lord, people, Jennifer Lawrence is not “too fat” to play Katniss, either now or in a dystopian future where she’s hunting wild game with a bow and arrow and thus manages to attain a slim, athletic build and like, I dunno, weigh enough to menstruate.
But I had no idea that the “fat” criticism was actually being tossed around by actual movie critics. The Chicago Sun Times offers a mini round-up of (surprise!) male movie critics casually dropping euphemisms for “fat” when describing Jennifer Lawrence:
While most critics raved about the film and Lawrence’s performance, it was comments from the Hollywood Reporter’s Todd McCarthy (about the actress’ “lingering baby fat”), Salon’s Andrew O’Hehir (“well-fed” body) and HollywoodElsewhere’s Jeffrey Wells (calling Lawrence a “big-boned lady”) that have unleashed a torrent of furious responses from the legions of loyal Hunger Games fans.
As a visual reminder, we are talking about this “well-fed, big-boned” woman:
I mean, just look at that clavicle! IT’S ENORMOUS. And her waist seems like it might be slightly wider than Stanley Tucci’s thigh.
Jennifer Lawrence, to her credit, understands just how flipping ridiculous this all is:
A source close to the actress told me Sunday that the Oscar nominee had a sarcastic reaction to some of the critics of her mega-hit movie who basically claimed she was too chubby-looking to convincingly play Katniss Everdeen in the blockbuster, based on Suzanne Collins’ best-selling novel.
“Jennifer told me, ‘This is hilarious. First, people say how so many actresses inHollywood look anorexic, and now they are criticizing me for looking normal,’” the source recalled. The actress reportedly added that overly thin body images “are too often adopted by young girls and women — thanks to what they are constantly being shown as being attractive.”
Another point supposedly made by Lawrence was that nothing was written about her two main co-stars — Josh Hutcherson and Liam Hemsworth — who both also play residents of the film’s fictional District 12, where people are constantly facing starving conditions.
Point, set, and match to Lawrence. But I swear, if she shows up looking all Hollywood waif-y and emaciated in Catching Fire (in which Katniss is most definitely no longer starving and is officially “well fed”), I will…I will BITCH ABOUT IT ON TWITTER.
Elsewhere in horrible people saying horrible things about beautiful young women, Karl Lagerfeld is officially Very Sorry for calling Adele “fat.” So sorry, in fact, that he’s sending her a mountain of Chanel handbags.
A source said: “Karl has been filming for the new YouTube Chanel TV channel and mentioned his plans to patch things up.
“He told his team to send Adele the best the fashion house has to offer after hearing she collected bags.
“He said he really wanted to make it up to her so they could maybe work together in the future.
“He could see her fronting a campaign for Chanel Mademoiselle bags when the contract with Blake Lively ends.
“He’s annoyed with himself because he ended up insulting her when he meant to compliment her. He thinks she’s beautiful and calls her divine.”
Oh, see? He MEANT to compliment her. But then he opened his mouth and a whole bunch of fatty mcfatterson talk fell out of it. Got it. Nice that he’s attempting to patch things up, at least. With a small fortune’s worth of designer handbags! Oh, Karl. You can call me fat anytime. AMIRITE LADIES?