Does anyone still watch Jersey Shore? Like watch-watch, on the teevee, on sort-of purpose? Or does everybody just occasionally watch clips online and keep up with the general gist of things via gossip sites?
I mean, it’s not like the plotlines are super-nuanced, many-layered onions of Lost-like mythology or anything, and at this point I feel like it’s mostly a betting race on which cast members end up completely broke and cutting ribbons at new supermarket openings in a couple years.
But it’s looking more and more like you can scratch Snooki off your list of Jersey Shore flameouts, because girlfriend at least really seems to be serious about this whole little “pregnancy” thing she’s got going on and I can’t lie: I find her kind of endearing now. I KNOW. I’M SORRY. I’m not buying honorary bump-its or anything, but still. I find Pregnant Snooki to be infinitely less annoying than I expected. Or maybe it’s just all those years of Snooki Gifs on FourFour.
Anyway, TMZ confirmed that Snooki will be returning for the show’s sixth (6TH!!!!) season…but will NOT be living in the Jersey Shore House Proper. She’s getting her own place nearby, away from the boozing and the brawling and, well, everything else that is basically the Entire Point of the show. But considering she’ll be pretty far along by this summer when filming takes place, it’s probably in everybody’s best interest to give the pregnant lady some damned peace and quiet and her own refrigerator full of non-alcoholic beverages and pickles.
However, before we all commend MTV for being so reasonable in their contract negotiations with a pregnant woman: there’s no such special snowflake arrangement in place for Mike—”The Situation”—despite him being freshly rehabbed and baby-steps sober. He’ll be tossed to a pack of binge-drinking dogs for our entertainment, because he’s broke and desperately needs the money.
Well. Good for Snooki, anyway.
(But seriously: are people still watching this show? Has it been abandoned for Kardashianer pastures? Does the idea of watching the cast finally grow up and get their collective acts together sound appealing or would you rather everybody just STOP TALKING ABOUT THEM ALREADY, AND THIS INCLUDES YOU, AMALAH?)