Sometimes I feel like slow news days in Hollywood are the BEST news days in Hollywood, because then we get reporters doing things like asking Snooki for parenting advice for tanning addicts, ad executives dressing Ashton Kutcher in brown face, and Brandi Glanville talking more trash about her ex-husband Eddie Cibrian and his new wife, homewrecker LeAnn Rimes.
Snooki has some choice words for Patricia Krentcil, who made headlines yesterday when she was arrested for taking her five year-old, fair-skinned daughter to a tanning booth. Krentcil, who has denied letting her daughter tan and explains the entire ordeal as a “big misunderstanding,” has received tons of backlash from the online community. Joining in on that public flogging is none other than tanning afficionado Snooki herself. The Jersey Shore star and expectant mother had this to say about Krentcil, who is also from New Jersey: “That b***h is crazy, you are not supposed to take kids there. Everyone knows you are NOT supposed to take kids there.” Krentcil responded with the type of grace expected of someone with a leathery face, saying to her attackers: “They’re jealous, they’re fat, and they’re ugly.” Isn’t she lovely?
Robert Downey, Jr. is showing off pictures of his newborn son, Exton Elias! The Avengers star appeared on Jay Leno last night and, after very gentle probing, totally opened his wallet and gushed on national televsision. Apparently, Downey’s wife, Susan–a producer–did not know he’d be unveiling the pictures, and Downey joked that he’d be in big trouble when he got home. The three-month-old was born in February, and Downey swooned, “He’s so darn cute, isn’t he?” The internet concurs, Robert Downey, with a resounding AWWWWW!
I think that should suffice as a get-out-of-jail-free card, champ.
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills regular, Brandi Glanville, will be returning for the upcoming season THANKS BE TO GOD. Apparently there was some sort of kerfluffle about her status with the show due to her children with ex-husband Eddie Cibrian. Cibrian, who is now married to love-to-hate-her country star LeAnn Rimes, is staunchly against having his two boys appear on the Bravo show with their mother. The boys, Jake and Mason, had appeared very briefly on camera last year, but Rimes and Cibrian didn’t want that repeated. As a result, Brandi was denied a full seat as a Beverly Hills housewife, and must instead remain, a friend. With benefits, I’m sure. Ahem.
Chris Harrison, the lovable-ish host of ABC’s The Bachelor and The Bachelorette is now eligible to appear on the show as a contestant. Harrison and his wife, Gwen, announced their separation yesterday after 18 years of a marriage that did not begin on a reality show. (It should be noted, however, that it did END on one.) The duo released a prepared statement about their “incredibly difficult decision” despite their lasting “love and mutual respect” which they will use to co-exist somewhat peacefully in an effort to share in “the lives of our wonderful children.” The couple has two boys together—Joshua, 9, and Taylor, 7—and Harrison is said to have even found the time to coach both of their soccer teams. Aw, sad face.
America’s dingleberry, Ashton Kutcher, finds himself in the midst of another scandal this week, but this time it has to do with wearing brownface rather than getting his own nose brown in another woman’s—eh, nevermind. Kutcher appeared in an ad for PopChips, where he dressed as various, stereotyped bachelors from across the globe. In one, he looked like a stoner searching for “higher” consciousness (GET IT? GET IT?). In another, he was a mockery of Karl Lagerfeld. And in another still, he was a Bollywood producer. His face was darkened, he sported a ridiculous Simpsons-esque accent, and acted a damn fool. After lots of public outcry, Kutcher responded via Twitter, telling people, to, essentially, stop bitching to him and contact PopChips. They did, the ad was pulled, and now we’re all left here wondering why Kutcher STILL makes more money than all of us combined. Also: what the hell are PopChips?