We all remember this train wreck, right?
Oh, just your average mother of six.
At this year’s Academy Awards, Angelina Jolie mostly wore an otherwise-lovely black velvet number that took a turn for the horrific every time the actress had to transition from being perfect in one location to being perfect in another location. Whether she had some deal with Atelier Versace stipulating that at no point during the festivities would she not showcase the gown’s thigh-high slit, or her leg was making every desperate attempt at exposure to sunlight, we may never know. Something compelled that woman to drag her sinewy, pale appendage around like a dead limb all night, and I won’t rest until I find out why. But mostly I won’t rest because I’m still having flashbacks about it.
This is worth every night sweat, though.
Because she’s Angeline Jolie, there’s always a
couple million wackadoo s who’ll follow even the most ridiculous of Angie-inspired trends. It takes a special kind of wackadoo, though, to attempt not just emulating the whole-world-proclaimed goddess, but to attempt to one-up her. Enter Anja Rubik.
I know what you’re thinking: “What’s an Anja Rubik?” I made it to 33 years of life without knowing the answer to that question, myself. I’ll always remember that time fondly.
Anja Rubik is a Victoria’s Secret model, and this is what she wore to this week’s Met Costume Institute Gala:
No, wait. Sorry, this is Anja Rubik:
No relation to the cube of the same name, despite sharing similar angular features.
You can see where I got confused.
frightened wowed onlookers when she appeared on the red carpet in this revealing (or any other word that means “exposing more than it’s covering she may as well have gone naked oh her poor mother”) Anthony Vaccarello creation. The model turned heads and set celeb gossip tongues wagging, sporting a slit at least six inches higher than Angelina’s already-dangerously-close-to-revealing-baby-making-parts slit, and taking out a few eyeballs with exposing her gaunt right hip in the process. For an added touch of indecency, the gown exposed all but her areolae on top. A girl’s got to maintain some sense of modesty, you know.
Angelina’s leg isn’t taking this lying down.
Angelina Jolie’s fake leg has more followers on Twitter than you do.
While her leg is taking it personally, it seems Angelina embraces the adage that “imitation is the best form of flattery.” Rumor has it she’s so fascinated by Kate Middleton and all things Royal, they’re a source of inspiration for her upcoming nuptials to longtime
player love Brad Pitt. “She loved the Britishness of Kate and William’s big day and wants to incorporate some of those very traditional elements into her own ceremony,” claims a source. “She wants to capture the feel of the fairytale princess and thinks Brad should dress formally, like a prince, too.”
So, Anja needn’t worry. I don’t think Angie will hold any ill will toward her, but will rather embrace this as the flattery it was probably not intended to be. Besides, if Jolie were upset over it, she wouldn’t have a leg to stand on, and not only because it’s busy administering that Twitter feed. She didn’t exactly pioneer the high slit, you know. I actually liked it better when Jennifer Aniston wore it to the 2010 Golden Globes, complete with functioning leg.
I wonder why Ang & Jen don’t hang out more. They seem to have a lot in common.