I have always sucked at any sport involving a ball. If you have to throw, roll, or hit something, I’m horrible at it. That is, unless you are doing it to another human being. Then I’m pretty okay at it; which is why I’ve participated in fighting sports for the past 20 years. When my son was born, it wasn’t a baseball glove that I gave him. It was a pair of Muay Thai shorts.
Because throwing down is cool. When two people square off with no other purpose than to inflict as much damage as possible on the other guy, nothing better exemplifies raw willpower, determination, strength, endurance, and balls. These are all values that I want to impart to my child. If he has to see a little blood in order to do so, then so be it. Plus, everything’s more fun with hematomas.
So, for years we watched the human drama unfold in the cage and in the ring. Events like UFC, Pride, and King of the Cage served as perfect backdrops for me to show my son what spirit and honor meant. Then some celebrities thought it was cool. And we all know what happens after that.
Guys who previously fought for the love of it and got up the next day to work at Home Depot suddenly found themselves in the spotlight. So of course they married porn stars.
Once an industry breaks the porn star index, you’re deep in it, so to speak. Now that fighting is a thing, I honestly feel a little bit hipster about it. I can’t love it as much.
This week, UFC fighter Jon Bones Jones pled guilty to DUI. What makes me sad isn’t the DUI itself. I’m sure a lot of the old school UFC guys got DUIs. What saddened me was the fact that he was driving a Bentley. He has now gone from athlete to celebrity behaving badly. And yesterday he apologized to his fans on Facebook. Fighters never had a “public” back in the day. They just fought. Then he deleted that update. Fighters never needed PR advisors back in the day, either.
Also this week, UFC ring girl Arianny Celeste was arrested for kicking her boyfriend in the nose during a domestic dispute. Again, in itself, probably a common occurrence between ring girls and their boyfriends. But to have TMZ deem this one incident involving a peripheral character in the fighting world newsworthy means that fighting, and all offshoots of it, is now mainstream.
AND THAT MEANS JUSTIN BIEBER NOW HITS PUNCHING BAGS.
He also gets into physical altercations with paparazzi. When you can look like this…
… and be accused of assault, fighting is dead.
No wait. NOW it’s dead.