Mornings are not my forte. Even after dragging myself out of bed, it takes my brain even longer to kick into high gear. I’m technically upright and moving around, but with all the purpose and decision-making skills of a zombie, lurching around in search of coffee while occasionally stopping to toss Cheerios and mouth-breathe at my children. Just to confuse the hell out of me further, my three children all end up at different destinations at different times throughout the morning, so I’ve definitely forgotten my fair share of backpacks and library books and permission slips and lunchboxes.
I am happy to report that at least I’ve never forgotten an entire child.
Victoria Beckham admitted to Vanity Fair that she did just that. While driving her son to school one morning, she suddenly realized…something:
I got up in the morning, and I knew that I had a whole morning full of conference calls. So I got up early with Harper, sorted Harper out, got all the kids their breakfast, got them ready for school, put Harper in the car seat, and said, “Come on, kids, we have to get going or we’re going to be late”—every morning I take Brooklyn, and David takes the little boys to school. We take it in turns because they go to two different schools.
So I jump in my Range Rover, put the car seat in, put my iPod on—obviously very important—and I drive to school. And then I realize, I’d left Brooklyn in the kitchen. I was driving along, talking away, and all the sudden, I looked at the front seat, and I was like, “Shit! Shit! I’ve forgot something!”
I’d gotten down the road, and I literally had to turn around and drive back up the driveway. And David was standing there in the driveway with all three boys, just [shakes her head]. And I felt like such an idiot because I was in such a rush. Harper was in the car, I was in the car, and we were on the way to school. But we did not have the child who needed to go to school.
No snarky sense of superiority over here, Posh. I actually find this story to be completely adorable and relatable. I mean, besides the Range Rover bit. And the David Beckham part. And the fact that she probably left her child in a kitchen the size of my entire house, where he could survive happily for several weeks or months until his parents remembered he was there, with his every need being met by the rocket fridge and the robot butler.
Other than that, yes. Victoria Beckham is just like us, you guys.